


Needs a Name

by Hella_Queer (orphan_account)



Category: Free! Eternal Summer - Fandom, Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chatting & Messaging, Group chat, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Under construction, Unrequited Love, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-09-21 07:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9538040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Hella_Queer
Summary: No one really knows how Nagisa met Hinata, but no one could’ve prepared for what happened when those two worlds collided.ThugSeme added you to this groupThugSeme renamed this group “needs a name”





	1. Too Many Cooks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **GouAway:** IM A GIRL
> 
>  **GouAway:** I. AM. WOMAN.
> 
>  **GouAway:** I WANT TO BE ADDRESSED AS SUCH.

**[7:12 AM]**

_ThugSeme added spikethesun to this group_

_ThugSeme renamed this group “needs a name”_

 

 **ThugSeme:** Is that everyone? 

**spikethesun:** i think so. roll call!!!

 **Captain:** No 

**spikethesun:** :( 

**Thunderclap:** Cmon captain we gotta make sure we’re all here. I'll start. Ryuu!

 **BestSenpai:** Here! 

**Thunderclap:** Hinata!

 **spikethesun:** Here! :D 

**Captain:** Stop. Just read the list up top. 

**Thunderclap:** :(

 **Glassheart:** kiyoko isn't on the list 

**BestSenpai:** WHAT?!

 **BestSenpai:** HINATA WHERE IS OUR BEAUTIFUL MANAGER!

 **BestSenpai:** THIS IS EXCLUSION ITS ILLEGAL

_starrynight added Girls4Girls to the group_

**Girls4Girls:** Is something wrong Hitoka?

 **BestSenpai:** KIYOKO SAAAAAAAAAAAN

 **Thunderclap:** *EXPLODES*

 **starrynight:** Hinata created a group and you weren't here. 

**spikethesun:** I didn't know her skype name D: 

**Girls4Girls:** Oh. Alright. Hello everyone. 

**Glassheart:** wheres suga? 

**SugarRush:** Here!!

 **SugarRush:** I was eating. 

**spikethesun:** whered hazuki go??? 

**spikethesun:** HAZUKIIIIIIII

 **ThugSeme:** sorry sorry my sister tried to steal my phone. Hiiiiiiiiii I'm Nagisa. 

**ThugSeme:** i thought you added your whole team shouchan ??

 **starrynight:** It’s still pretty early. I’m sure they'll be here later. 

**Captain:** We have practice at 8. Don't forget. 

**BestSenpai:** we do???

 **Thunderclap:** duh ryuu! i totally didn't forget captain! 

**Thunderclap:** on an unrelated note I gotta go. Later! 

**BestSenpai:** waht noya said bye!

 **ThugSeme:** and makochan says im forgetful 

 

**[12:35 PM]**

**spikethesun:** okay! is everyone here now? 

**Saltyshima:** First of all, no. Second of all 

_Saltyshima changed their name to “this chat is stupid”_

**Ahogay:** don't be mean tsukki! 

_this chat is stupid changed their name to “Tyrantosaurus”_

**Tyrantosaurus:** Better? Now change yours. 

**Ahogay:** No 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

 

**[1:48 PM]**

**Mamakoto:** Hello! Is Hinata Shouyou here? 

**spikethesun:** thats me!! 

**ThugSeme:** gosh makochan don't be so formal 

**Reinbow:** Perhaps it would be best for you to be a little more formal, Nagisa-kun. 

**BeetleKing:** no1 types good online ryugazaki 

**Captain:** Hinata who are these people? 

**spikethesun:** oh yea! remember that practice match we had at Iwatobi? well I met hazuki there 

**ThugSeme:** thats me!! call me nagisa!!

 **spikethesun:** and we started talking and found out we have A LOT in common so we exchanged skype names! 

**ThugSeme:** and then we thought itd be cool if we got both our teams together! (^.^)

 **SugarRush:** That does sound nice Hinata. I'm proud of you for branching out and making new friends. 

**spikethesun:** thanks sugasan!!!

 **EnNOshita:** There's 21 people here and I've only seen 4 new ones. 

**Reinbow:** Our team is smaller than average. Just myself, Nagisa-kun, Makoto-senpai, Haruka-senpai, and our manager Gou-san. And we only have a few friends in Samezuka.

 **Sharknado:** did u put gou in this chat nagisa? 

**ThugSeme:** …. no

 **GouAway:** yes!

 **GouAway:** and it's Kou! 

**Ahogay:** But your chat name has Gou in it 

**GouAway:** Nagisa made my name 

**Captain:** I think Gou is a nice name. 

**GouAway:** it's a boy's name!

 **Glassheart:** is that...bad?

 **ThugSeme:** ppffft

 **Sharknado:** here we go..

 **GouAway:** IM A GIRL 

**GouAway:** I. AM. WOMAN. 

**GouAway:** I WANT TO BE ADDRESSED AS SUCH. 

**Girls4Girls:** Names today don't have the same gendered tagline as they did in the past. From what I've gathered, this Nagisa-kun is male, correct? 

**ThugSeme:** uh huh! 

**Girls4Girls:** However, if you are more comfortable being referred to as Kou, then we will do so. 

**starrynight:** ^^^

 **Thunderclap:** isn't our Kiyoko-san just the best? 

**BestSenpai:** so kind and considerate. 

**Thunderclap:** also 

**Thunderclap:** guess whos back

 **BestSenpai:** back again 

**Thunderclap:** dream teams back 

**BestSenpai:** tell 19 friends 

**spikethesun:** we’re gonna be here for hours if we dont introduce everyone! where is kageyama??

 **ThugSeme:** and haruchan. have u seen him makochan?

 **Mamakoto:** He's right here. He says he doesn't want to talk. 

**ThugSeme:** he never wants to talk! if i cared about what he wanted all the time id change my name to tachibana makoto

 **Thunderclap:** OH! 

**BestSenpai:** WE NEED ICE FOR THAT BURN 

**NanaSayWhat:** Makoto is pouting 

**ThugSeme:** he'll live 

**Captain:** Is this everyone now? I'd like to go back to enjoying my Saturday. 

**Tyrantosaurus:** Likewise. 

**LeQuack:** yamazaki-senpai isn't here! 

**Sharknado:** he's at the doctor. I'll catch him up later

 **SugarRush:** I think Kageyama is with his family today in the city. Some relatives wedding plans or something. 

**Glassheart:** The chat isn't too long right now. He can scroll up later. 

**spikethesun:** uggghhhhhh fiiiiine. I'll start. 

 

**[3:28 PM]**

**Mamakoto:** So I hold out my hand like I always do, and then I'm attacked by a water demon! 

**Thunderclap:** hahahaha oh my god 

**BestSenpai:** we have to try that on someone! 

**Glassheart:** As long as it's not me please 

**Thunderclap:** nah. you'd have a heart attack and literally die maybe 

**ThugSeme:** I wasn't that scary makochan 

**spikethesun:** one time my little sister natsu hid in the laundry basket and she scared my dad so bad he punched a hole in the wall 

**Mamakoto:** Oh no! 

**Reinbow:** Was he alright? 

**spikethesun:** oh yeah! we covered the hole with a picture :p 

**ThugSeme:** makochan is the biggest scardy cat

 **Thunderclap:** I think Asahi has that title 

**Mamakoto:** Fear Friends? 

**Glassheart:** Sounds good to me. 

 

**[11:50 PM]**

**UltimateSetter:** y the hell are there so many messages 

**UltimateSetter:** I had to turn my phone off cause my mom got pissed 

**UltimateSetter:** who are all these people???

 **UltimateSetter:** @spikethesun WTF IS THIS 

**spikethesun:** oh my god we never named the chat! 

**UltimateSetter:** ANSWER ME DUMBASS 

**EnNOshita:** Just scroll up. It's easier. 

**SugarRush:** It's getting late. Maybe we should think of one tomorrow. 

**Tyrantasourus:** I have a name. 

**spikethesun:** if its this chat is stupid then no!

 **Tyrantasourus:** It's not. 

_Tyrantasourus renamed this group “Hinata is Stupid”_

**Ahogay:** what did I say about being mean? 

_Ahogay renamed this group “hugs and head pats”_

**SugarRush:** ohhhh I like that one! 

**starrynight:** me too! 

**Girls4Girls:** You're still awake, Hitoka? 

**starrynight:** uhhhhh no? 

**BestSenpai:** ohh ohh I have a name! 

_Thunderclap renamed this group “we <3 Kiyoko”_

_BestSenpai renamed this group “Kiyoko is our Queen”_

**BestSenpai:** Noya what the hell?! Way to steal my thunder 

**Thunderclap:** have u seen my name??

 **ThugSeme:** he does have a point 

**spikethesun:** hazuki there you are! call me im bored

 **Mamakoto:** It's almost midnight. We should all be getting to bed. 

**Reinbow:** I agree. Nagisa-kun if you still want to study together tomorrow I suggest a full night's rest. 

**ThugSeme:** but reichaaaaaaaan

 **spikethesun:** ur not my real dad tachibana san! I do what I want 

_Captain has renamed this group “you're all running extra laps Monday if you don't shut up”_

**spikethesun:** ...all in favor of going to bed right the frick now? 

**Thunderclap:** yeye!

 **BestSenpai:** waht noya said! 

**SugarRush:** if we have to. night everyone. 

**Mamakoto:** Goodnight! 

**ThugSeme:** ttyl

 **Ahogay:** nighty night everyone! 

**EnNOshita:** peace 

**starrynight:** (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

 

 **[2:06 AM]**

**Yamazaki:** What did I miss? 

**Yamazaki:** Oh. Night then.


	2. Drama Llama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **EnNOshita:** When the mallard strolled over to the refreshment establishment constructed out of thin wood and nails, and spoke to the proprietor of said establishment
> 
>  **Girls4Girls:** “Hello.” (short, jaunty musical tune) “May I purchase your wares?”

**[8:21 AM]**

**BeetleKing:** do u think weiner dogs ever see hotdogs and wonder if that's them? 

**LeQuack:** it's literally too early for you momo

 **BeetleKing:** 2 early 4 me 2 wat

 **Sharknado:** be typing in chat 

**Yamazaki:** Speaking at all 

**LeQuack:** raising my blood pressure 

**LeQuack:** it's too early for you to Momo™

 **BeetleKing:** （；＿；）

 

**[11:30 AM]**

**BeetleKing:** I h8 milk its gross 

**UltimateSetter:** I hate you you're gross 

**BeetleKing** Ow! My heart! 

**UltimateSetter:** If you drank milk your ribcage bones would be strong enough to protect it. 

**UltimateSetter:** but u don't 

**UltimateSetter:** so suffer 

**BeetleKing:** （；＿；）

 

**[3:26 PM]**

**Mamakoto:** I had to stop Haru from stripping in public seven times today! 

**Glassheart:** uhhhh wat 

**SugarRush:** context plz

 **Thunderclap:** video? pictures? 

**ThugSeme:** ill pm you 

**Thunderclap:** nice 

**Sharknado:** haru is a water freak. he gets off on pools but not in them, lest he taint the precious water with his seed 

**Yamazaki** Lest? 

**GouAway:** ewww

 **Sharknado** you're with him more than I am u should know this! 

**GouAway:** hearing my brother use the word seed is also gross 

**Sharknado:** nagisa y did u add her 

**ThugSeme:** cause shes our manager duh! 

**SugarRush:** back to the stripping plz

 **Mamakoto:** Oh right. 

**Mamakoto:** It's been tested that a kiddy pool and bigger will cause Haru to strip, providing that there's water in the container. 

**SugarRush:** *makes a note for future reference* 

**NanaSayWhat:** what 

**SugarRush:** oh nothing! 

 

 **[4:17 PM]**

**Sharknado:** are we allowed to add ppl? 

**Tyrantasourus:** No. 

**Captain:** No. 

**SugarRush:** shut up u two. 

**SugarRush:** yes 

_Sharknado added KissMe to this group_

**NanaSayWhat:** no 

_KissMe was kicked from this group_

_Mamakoto added KissMe to this group_

**KissMe:** Thx Makoto  <3

 **Sharknado:** wtf I added u first 

**Yamazaki:** Hey Kisumi 

**KissMe:** Sousuke! I saw you at the doctor. How's ur shoulder? 

_KissMe was kicked from the group_

**Captain:** Kill me

 

 **[5:39 PM]**

**EnNOshita:** Unpopular opinion: I think square pizza is better than circle pizza 

**Thunderclap:** literally die in a fire 

**spikethesun:** WHAT?! HOW CAN U THINK SQUARE IS BETTER 

**Glassheart:** Technically it's more rectangular than square 

**BestSenpai:** Asahi do you agree with this absolute madness??? 

**Glassheart:** Maybe? Pizza is pizza. Who cares what shape it's in. 

**Thunderclap:** it's not good if it's the WRONG shape 

**EnNOshita:** Are you really talking about shapes Yuu? I thought that didn't matter 

**Thunderclap:** on people you jerkass! not food! 

**Reinbow:** I happen to like square pizza. Or rectangular pizza I suppose. 

**ThugSeme:** reichan I love u with all my heart, but if you say that again I'll cut you 

**spikethesun:** circle is just so good? even slices 

**BestSenpai:** equal crust distribution 

**Sharknado:** it changes into triangles 

**Reinbow:** Which are harder to store than uniform shapes. Triangles are oddly formed. 

**ThugSeme:** UR oddly formed! 

**LeQuack:** uhhh not really. Ryugazaki is pretty fit 

**GouAway:** have you seen his arms? 

**SugarRush:** I haven't! 

**GouAway:** [I cri](http://pa1.narvii.com/6128/1f0060198c47d4465f3c789b9b54d375e1d60737_hq.gif)

 **Thunderclap:** daaaaaaaaaaaaamn 

**BestSenpai:** dude what's your workout routine?

 **spikethesun:** you could spike so many balls with arms like those! 

**Thunderclap:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Captain:** Don't. 

**ThugSeme:** can we get back to the problem plz 

**Mamakoto:** Why does it matter what kind of shape the pizza is? It's still pizza. 

**Glassheart:** Exactly. 

**SugarRush:** actually…

 **Captain:** Don’t tell me you believe this crap Suga 

**SugarRush:** i’m just saying it's easier to hold a triangle with one hand than a square. rectangle. 

**EnNOshita:** You’re a square Suga 

**SugarRush:** fight me 

**Reinbow:** You shouldn't eat a lot of pizza anyway, Nagisa-kun. Your diet consists of mostly sugar and even with swimming and running that isn't healthy 

**ThugSeme:** o h m y g o d 

**ThugSeme:** just say I eat shit rei! we all know ur the smartest person here dont rub it in with ur fancy words 

**Reinbow:** I'm not rubbing anything in!

 **BestSenpai:** but are you rubbing one out?

 **NanaSayWhat:** mackerel is the best 

**Sharknado:** shut the fuck up 

**Yamazaki:** If you, a fish, eat more fish, doesn't that make you a cannibal?

 **NanaSayWhat:** if you, an asshole, eat another asshole, doesn't that make you a cannibal?

 **Mamakoto:** HARU 

**Thunderclap:** HOLY SHIT! XD

 **spikethesun:** i just thought we were talking about food…

 

**[7:18 PM]**

**spikethesun:** bum bum bum ba-dum ba-dum!

 **UltimateSetter:** stop 

**spikethesun:** bum bum bum ba-dum ba-dum!!

 **UltimateSetter:** I will run to your house and kick you in the head 

**spikethesun:** bum bum bum ba-dum ba-dum!!!

 **UltimateSetter:** YOU DID THIS ALL FUCKING DAY KNOCK IT OFF

 **spikethesun:** … ok ill stop 

**UltimateSetter:** Finally! 

 

 **[7:25 PM]**

**BeetleKing:** bum bum bum ba-dum ba-dum!!!!

 **UltimateSetter:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Ahogay:** a duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man, running the stand

 **Tyrantasourus:** Even you Yamaguchi? 

**LeQuack:** “hey! (bum bum bum) got any vapes?”

 **spikethesun:** wait what 

**Ahogay:** the man said “no, we just sell cocaine. but it's white and it's soft and it fucks up your brain! can I get you a glass?”

 **BeetleKing:** i don think thats rite..

 **starrynight:** an entire glass of cocaine would kill you

 **ThugSeme:** the duck said “nice ass!”

 **BestSenpai:** then he waddled away (waddle waddle) til the very next day. 

**BestSenpai:** HINATA

 **spikethesun:** ….

 **spikethesun:** bum bum bum bum bum da-dum!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Thunderclap:** the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand

 **BeetleKing:** “hey! (bum bum bum) got any capes?”

 **GouAway:** the man said “no like I said yesterday, we just sell top hats and men’s lingerie. why not give it a try? 

**Sharknado:** GOU 

**NanaSayWhat:** the duck said “go die” 

**UltimateSetter:** what the fuck is happening right now 

**SugarRush:** language 

**Yamazaki:** Then he waddled away (Waddle Waddle) 

**Glassheart:** then he waddled away(waddle waddle waddle) 

**Mamakoto:** Then he waddled away (waddle waddle)

 **Reinbow:** Until the very next day. 

**UltimateSetter:** BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BA DUM 

**spikethesun:** gaaah you stole my thing bakageyama!!!!!!!

 **UltimateSetter:** s u f f e r 

**EnNOshita:** When the mallard strolled over to the refreshment establishment constructed out of thin wood and nails, and spoke to the proprietor of said establishment 

**Girls4Girls:** “Hello.” (short, jaunty musical tune) “May I purchase your wares?” 

**Captain:** The man said, “I’m kicking you all from the team. Even Kiyoko was poisoned by memes. I'm going to bed.”

 **Thunderclap:** the duck said “hows your head?” 

**SugarRush:** no complaints yet ;) 

**Mamakoto:** Sugawara! 

**SugarRush:** the fact that you understood that means you aren't as pure as you want us to believe 

**NanaSayWhat:** he isn't 

**Mamakoto:** HARU 

**GouAway:** details?

 **Sharknado:** GOU 

**NanaSayWhat:** ill pm you 

**starrynight:** things are heating up in the swimming pool 

 

**[10:01 PM]**

**ThugSeme:** and after the relay we took this cute picture look 

**ThugSeme:** [:D](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35600000/Free-Episode-12-free-35637101-500-279.png)

 **starrynight:** awwwww

 **spikethesun:** the team should take a picture like that! can we suga???

 **SugarRush:** sure! 

**Tyrantasourus:** So you used some random person just to get your friend back. Real nice. 

**ThugSeme:** we didn't use reichan! 

**Tyrantasourus:** You created a club just to see someone who collectively kicked you to the curb, then pushed aside your hardworking teammate just to swim with the asshole who didn't want to be friends in the first place?

 **Sharknado:** who are you calling an asshole asshole!

 **Mamakoto:** It wasn't like that at all! Rei is and always will be a valuable member of our team. 

**Reinbow:** I was the one who pushed Rin-san to swim with them. I knew how important that moment was for them. 

**Tyrantasourus:** You’ve been played, Ryugazaki. No matter what they say, you'll always be a replacement. 

**Captain:** That’s enough Tsukishima.

 **Tyrantasourus:** Whatever 

**ThugSeme:** you know thats not true right  
reichan? we never wanted you to be rinchan or even like him. youre our teammate, our friend. my best friend...

 **Mamakoto:** You filled a natural space. We wouldn't be the same without you. 

**ThugSeme:** reichan? 

**NanaSayWhat:** he went offline 

**spikethesun:** so did saltyshima! he always hurts peoples feelings hes the worst!! 

**ThugSeme:** makochan waht do we do reichan hates us i don want him to hte us!!!

 **Mamakoto:** Don't worry, Nagisa. Rei just needs space right now. We’ll see him tomorrow and talk things out. Right, Haru?

 **NanaSayWhat:** yes

 **ThugSeme:** ookay

 **ThugSeme:** shouchan cal me! :( 

**spikethesun:** i will 

 

**[1:11 AM]**

_You and Tyrantasourus are now contacts_

_Private Chat between You and Tyrantasourus_

 

 **Tyrantasourus:** I knew you were still lurking around here. 

**Reinbow:** Sleep is hard to find when battling one’s insecurities. 

**Tyrantasourus:** I know that feeling. 

**Reinbow:** Do you really think they only see me as a replacement? It honestly wouldn't be the first time I've felt that way. Coming into a group of established friends isn't easy. 

**Tyrantasourus:** Do I think they did so on purpose? No. But it does sound like you weren't treating as a full member of the team. Not in the beginning.

 **Tyrantasourus:** Established friend groups are lame anyway. 

**Reinbow:** Is that why you're so reluctant to bond with your teammates? Yamaguchi said he's worried about your increased antisocial behavior. 

**Tyrantasourus:** You've been talking to Yamaguchi about me? 

**Reinbow:** Not necessarily. We talk, and occasionally he’ll mention you. All good things I assure you. 

**Tyrantasourus:** Apparently not. 

**Reinbow:** He holds you in high regards. Though he wishes you'd do the same. 

**Tyrantasourus:** I didn't come here for a therapy session, I came to apologize. 

**Tyrantasourus:** If I wanted a lecture on friendship I’d actually be at home when my brother visits from college. 

**Reinbow:** Ah. I see. 

**Tyrantasourus:** See what? 

**Reinbow:** We do have something in common. 

**Reinbow:** I too have an older brother I try to avoid. But he's gotten wise to me skipping out during the summers, so he tells my parents not to tell me when he's visiting for an odd weekend. Ichirou was always good at keeping things from me. 

**Tyrantasourus:** Akiteru is...similar. 

**Reinbow:** Do you want to talk about it? 

**Tyrantasourus:** No. 

 

**[3:27 AM]**

**Tyrantasourus:** and it wasn't even about not being a starter. He could've mopped the floors for all I cared. It's the fact that he lied to me about it. That he would've lied until graduation had I not found out. 

**Reinbow:** When I was ten, and Ichirou was sixteen, he convinced my mother that the best way to ‘cure’ me of my social awkwardness was to bring me along with him to a ‘close gathering’ of his peers. 

**Tyrantasourus:** You spent a night in someone's closet hiding from teenagers at a house party. 

**Reinbow:** A rowdy couple stumbled into my closet. Both of them were male. One wore a construction hat and panties, the other the bottom half of a horse costume. Sometimes I still have nightmare. 

**Tyrantasourus:** Akiteru calls Yamaguchi Tadashi. As if they're such good friends. He's 22 and in college back off 

**Reinbow:** I refuse to let my brother meet any of my friends. He’ll say something ‘profound’ or ‘thought provoking’ and they'll fall all over him. He got accepted to school on both an academic and athletic scholarship. He runs track. That's why I ran track. Because I can't paint or draw worth a damn I'm tone deaf and my OCD is only thinly hidden by a beauty obsession. Ichi-kun is so levelheaded and patient and calm and smart and fit. He uses his ADHD to multitask. And when he gets overwhelmed he “takes a step back and allows others to help” like a well adjusted individual. 

**Tyrantasourus:** he sounds like a fucking great guy. Don't you wanna be just like him and throw out your own interests to become a less better, less refined copy of him? 

**Reinbow:** you should really be nicer to Akiteru. He just wants what's best for you. You should forget about the lying and him treating you like a child who can't handle the truth. He was just protecting your fragile and easily breakable feelings 

**Tyrantasourus:** ur sassy late at night. Y aren't you like this all the time 

**Reinbow:** b/c my friends r a mess and need authority that isn't a six foot teddy bear who cries at kittens 

**Tyrantasourus:** that's fair. I laughed once at practice and Kageyama almost choked on his water. Should've filmed it 

**Reinbow:** u really are a bag of salt aren't u 

**Tyrantasourus:** it's 4 am fite me bro 

**Reinbow:** u no wat bro? I think I will 

 

_Reinbow has changed their name to Kei’sTwin_

_Tyrantasourus has changed their name to Rei’sTwin_


	3. Safe Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **BoHOOTo:** I've pictured Akaashi in a skirt once
> 
>  **BoHOOTo:** fell down the stairs
> 
>  **BoHOOTo:** it was worth it

**[11:00 AM]**

_Captain added PITAKS, BoHOOTo, Mamakoto, Sharknado, Moniwa, Ushijima, Snek, OeCowAh, Tiramisu and Michan to this group_

_Captain renamed this group Safe Space_

 

 **Captain:** Sorry to drag you all here during lunch. But I needed a break from...the interesting chat I'm in. 

**OeCowAh:** First, no one says shit about the name. Second, I refuse to be in a group with Him. 

**PITAKS:** Third, Akaashi made my name. Stands for pain in the ass kuroo san. Fourth, we all know who the salt farmer is talking about but let's pretend it's the manipulative little shit stain Daishou instead 

**Snek:** fifth let's help tetsu get the volleyball out of his ass and maybe he’ll learn some manners 

**PITAKS:** How's your ex girlfriend? 

**Snek:** how's your unrequited love life? 

**Tiramisu:** I'm just happy to be here! 

**Captain:** Why the hell did I think this was a good idea? 

**Mamakoto:** Did you mean to add me to this group, Sawamura-san?

 **Sharknado:** the name says safe space but all I see is hell in an inner tube 

**Moniwa:** And I thought I had trouble controlling my team Sawamura 

**BoHOOTo:** MONIWAAAAAAAAAA

 **Moniwa:** Hey Bokuto. Hi Kuroo. 

**PITAKS:** What's going on man? You flaked on our last chat /: 

**Tiramisu:** warm flakey buttered rolls. mmmmm

 **Captain:** Can everyone shut up for two minutes so I can talk please?! 

**Ushijima:** Do you mean that literally or figuratively? 

**Captain:** Two real life minutes

 **Michan:** i don't remember you being so grumpy Daichi 

**BoHOOTo:** wait. michan? are you a girl?? YOU KNOW A GIRL SAWAMURA 

**Captain:** Ugggghhhhhhh

 

**[10:30 AM]**

**PITAKS:** Alright, now that Sawamura has recovered from his breakdown, let's get through some introductions. Is that enough structure for you, Captain?

 **Captain:** Yes, thanks. I'll go first. 

**Captain:** Sawamura Daichi, captain of the Karasuno boys’ volleyball club. 

**BoHOOTo:** BOKUTO KOUTAROU PROUD CAPTAIN OF FUKURODANI 

**PITAKS:** Kuroo Tetsurou, captain of Nekoma. 

**Moniwa:** ah Moniwa Kaname. Sadly the ex captain of Datekou...

 **Michan:** hey! Michimiya Yui, ex captain of the Karasuno girls’ volleyball club

 **Michan:** *offers fistbump while crying* 

**Moniwa:** *accepts wet and snotty fistbump* 

**OeCowAh:** Oikawa Tooru! Captain of Aobajosai! 

**Sharknado:** uhhh Matsuoka Rin. Captain of the Samezuka Academy swim club in Iwatobi. not sure why I'm here..

 **Mamakoto:** I'm Tachibana Makoto, captain of the Iwatobi High School Swim Club. Nice to meet everyone! 

**Ushijima:** My name is Ushijima Wakatoshi. I am captain of the Shiratorizawa Academy boys’ volleyball club. 

**OeCowAh:** Tell us your life story while you're at it jeez 

**Ushijima:** I spent my childhoods in the country, helping my grandparents with their farm. My mother wore sunflowers in her hair. It was raining the first night I had nocturnal discharge. 

**Captain:** Please. Stop. Now. 

**OeCowAh:** forever 

**Snek:** are we done with this? good 

**Snek** Daishou Suguru. Nohebi captain. 

**Tiramisu:** Terushima Yuuji, captain of the Johzenji boys volleyball team! We bring the party! 

**Ushijima:** My father is a good man but very busy. As I've grown older I fear that our relationship is drifting apart. 

**OeCowAh:** I'm gonna leave in like five seconds I swear 

**Mamakoto:** Would you like to talk about things, Ushijima-san? I would be happy to listen.

 **OeCowAh:** oh goodie a therapy session for ushiwaka chan. I cna’t wait 

**BoHOOTo:** cna’t 

**Sharknado:** cna’t

 **PITAKS:** cna’t

 **Snek:** tetsu cna’t wait to return to his empty lunch table 

**PITAKS:** I cna’t wait to break all your fingers 

**Moniwa:** Knock it off you guys. Daichi says he needs a calm space to hang out. Fighting isn't being calm. 

**Mamakoto:** Moniwa-san is right. I know none of you really know me, but I think if we tried we could build some bridges that will lead to very rewarding friendships :) 

**BoHOOTo:** by rewarding do you mean emotionally? 

**OeCowAh:** or physically?

 **Mamakoto:** Oh! Both I suppose. I think Nagisa is working on a new secret handshake. And hugs! Hugs are actually very good for stress relief and mental grounding. 

**PITAKS:** ^^^

 **Tiramisu:** making out is also good for stress. so I've been told. 

**Snek:** by who? 

**Tiramisu:** like...people! the details aren't important 

**Michan:** I hear from similar people that masturbating is also good for stress. 

**Sharknado:** maybe u should try that sawamura 

**PITAKS:** Daishou knows a lot about self pleasure, considering he can't hold a steady relationship. I think he’ll have good advice 

**Snek:** I'm advising you to sleep with one eye open tonight tetsu 

**Ushijima:** I realized early on that my sexual preference wasn't the same as the boys my age. Where there dreams were plagued by soft curves and smooth breasts, I found myself drawn to strong shoulders and muscular chests. However, seeing the powerful women lifting weights at the gym also piqued my interests, so perhaps I have chosen a side too quickly. I've always been attracted to physical power, often overlooking book smart classmates in favor of those who could carry two fully ripen watermelons without losing their breath. 

**PITAKS:** I'm…very into this actually keep talking 

**OeCowAh:** *their 

**Sharknado:** did I fucking ghost write this? 

**Michan:** I like all kinds of people, but bara babes are pretty damn fantastic 

**Snek:** ^^^^^

 **Captain:** Why the hell did I think this was a good idea? 

 

**[2:35 PM]**

**BoHOOTo:** TIME FOR CLUB WHOS READY TO SWEAT 

**Sharknado:** we swim in water so it's not that noticeable 

**PITAKS:** Kenma always worms his way out of extra laps. Idk how he does it 

**Snek:** it's cause you're weak

 **Mamakoto:** Haru is the same way sometimes, only he’ll skip running and jump straight into the pool! 

**Michan:** lmao have fun with that 

**Michan:** I'm gonna shove a burger in my face and look for places that are hiring. Gotta make bank somehow now that my dazzling sports career is over 

**Captain:** You could come watch our practice. I'm sure coach wouldn't mind. Plus we could use the help getting everyone in order 

**Moniwa:** Hey, Michimiya? I could go with you if you want. I'm not busy anymore, and I have a friend who wants to quit their job but doesn't have anyone to fill his place. 

**Michan:** Really?! That's awesome yes yes let's do that!

 **Michan:** Next time Daichi! 

**Captain:** Oh. Sure. Yeah. 

**Moniwa:** Later guys. 

**Ushijima:** My teammates are curious as to why my bag keeps shaking. These are a lot of messages to send during practice. 

**Tiramisu:** he's right guys! can't do your best if you're distracted! 

**BoHOOTo:** AKAASHI WANTS TO PRACTICE WITH ME BYE

 **PITAKS:** There goes my man. 

 

 **[6:21 PM]**

**Michan:** What's the best saddest dance song? 

**PITAKS:** The pop remix of what hurts the most by Cascada

 **Michan:** You. I like you very much. 

**PITAKS:** :3

 **BoHOOTo:** speaking of liking things. USHIJIMA

 **Ushijima:** Yes? 

**BoHOOTo:** do you and your friend….tender salami? 

**Ushijima:** Tendou Satori. 

**BoHOOTo:** yeah! do you two like waffles? 

**Ushijima:** I am not sure of his preferences concerning breakfast. I will ask. 

**Mamakoto:** What are you doing?

 **PITAKS:** Just wait 

**Ushijima:** Yes. He enjoys waffles. 

**BoHOOTo:** so you both like waffles?

 **Ushijima:** Yes, we like waffles. 

**BoHOOTo:** do you like pancakes? 

**Ushijima:** I believe so. Yes we like pancakes. 

**Captain:** What is happening? 

**BoHOOTo:** do you like french toast?

 **Tiramisu:** guys stop it I'm starving 

**Snek:** ur name is a dessert dude 

**Tiramisu:** im dont see the connection 

**Ushijima:** Yes. We like French toast. 

**Tiramisu:** i* 

**Sharknado:** not this shit again it's so old 

**BoHOOTo:** do dododo can't wait to get a mouthful! 

**BoHOOTo:** WAFFLES

 **Ushijima:** I do not understand. Are we getting breakfast together? 

**Tiramisu:** that's a great idea! 

**OeCowAh:** not even if my life depended on it 

**PITAKS:** I'm always a slut for pancakes 

**Snek:** among other things 

**Moniwa:** I heard pancakes. Are we getting pancakes? 

**Captain:** I mean we could. Not now obviously, but later. 

**Michan:** We could have a captain's meetup! That sounds fun yeah?

 **OeCowAh:** I want to say no, but that enthusiasm is precious. Let's get packages 

**OeCowAh:** PANCAKES FUCK 

**BoHOOTo:** my master plan worked! where should we go? 

**Sharknado:** this chat is biased as hell 

**Moniwa:** How so?

 **Sharknado:** u all play volleyball while me and makoto swim 

**Sharknado:** ur talking about getting breakfast knowing damn well the only two not in miyagi are the fish 

**PITAKS:** Ohoho that's where you're wrong. Bo and I are in Tokyo. 

**Snek:** as am i

 **PITAKS:** I know. I'm trying to forget that. 

**Mamakoto:** The two of us could get breakfast together, Rin. It'd be nice to catch up. 

**Sharknado:** would ur owner—i mean would haru be there?

 **OeCowAh:** W o w 

**Snek:** damn son 

**Mamakoto:** Haru isn't my owner! We’re friends. 

**Sharknado:** but not like we’re friends 

**Captain:** Not this again. Please take personal squabbles elsewhere 

**BoHOOTo:** Stop discriminating against the water kids! 

**Ushijima:** I was thirteen the first time I went to the beach. It wasn't a nude beach, but the society we live in doesn't chastise young men for being liberal with their clothing. The amount of skin showing on bodies far more developed than my own sent my mind on a journey of self discovery. 

**PITAKS:** You are quickly becoming my favorite person 

 

**[3:58 PM]**

**Captain:** I took a nap, and had a dream where my setters were also cheerleaders 

**BoHOOTo:** go 

**PITAKS:** on 

**Captain:** Well Kageyama would set to Hinata, then backflip to the sidelines to cheer him on. But mumbling. And Suga somehow did a basket toss by himself when Nishinoya did his rolling thunder thing. 

**Captain:** What does this mean?

 **PITAKS:** If it had just been Sugawara I'd point out the obvious 

**Captain:** What's the obvious? 

**PITAKS:** But since Kageyama was there too it must be something else

 **Captain:** So we’re just ignoring me now? Okay then 

**BoHOOTo:** I've pictured Akaashi in a skirt once 

**BoHOOTo:** fell down the stairs 

**BoHOOTo:** it was worth it 

 

**[11:29 PM]**

**Snek:** when u forget about a paper you can only submit online that's due in literally hours. 

**Moniwa:** Yikes! When did you start it? 

**Snek:** forty five minutes ago 

**Moniwa:** How long is it? 

**Snek:** 8 pages 

**PITAKS:** You're fucked. There's no way you can finish in time 

**Snek:** of course I can. when I shift into M A X I M U M O V E R D R I V E

 

 **[12:01AM]**

**Snek:** did it 

**Snek:** ranked number three in class. suck on that you filthy non believers 

 

 **[9:18 AM]**

**Michan:** I love fire drills. The way they just *clenches fist* interrupt my presentations 

**Captain:** If it makes you feel better I saw a five man pile up outside the janitor's closet. Apparently they missed the wet floor sign 

**Michan:** I was in the pile up 

**Captain:** Oh 

**Michan:** I think someone pierced my kidney with their spiky bracelet 

 

 **[3:12 AM]**

**OeCowAh:** This is a call out to terushima yuuji who has a fucking tongue ring 

**Snek:** pics or ur lying 

**OeCowAh:** [LOOK](https://68.media.tumblr.com/30beb947d7de9a1c62e7ddd9f211ff7e/tumblr_o12a6utHRB1rxe51eo1_400.gif)

 **Snek:** mmm

 **PITAKS:** We know what kind of parties he brings now 

**Tiramisu:** wats wrong with it?!

 **Moniwa:** Second years are innocents. Tongue rings are the devil’s accessory 

**Tiramisu:** What???

 **Snek:** now now lets not be hasty. if teru chan wants to be edgy he should explore that side of him 

**Snek:** preferably with a partner. i volunteer 

**PITAKS:** Over my dead body. I hereby adopt Terushima Yuuji

 **OeCowAh:** I second this adoption 

**Ushijima:** I do not think this is how things are done 

**PITAKS:** Tough testicles he's my son now 

**Tiramisu:** don't I get a say in this? 

**BoHOOTo:** wait 

**BoHOOTo:** if you can adopt teru why can't I adopt hinata? the boy needs a father! 

**Captain:** Stay away from my middle blocker

 **Michan:** Am I witnessing a Dad Off? 

**Captain:** No no no we are not doing this 

**Sharknado:** it's ass crack o'clock why r u all awake 

**Snek:** y r U awake? 

**Sharknado:** ask ur mom 

**PITAKS:** Matsuoka is now my favorite person after Ushijima 

**Sharknado:** gr8. now please shut the hell up and go to bed 

**Tiramisu:** but wait! who's my father? 

**Snek:** I can be your daddy ;) 

**PITAKS:** Stay away from my son I will punt you into the ocean 

**Captain:** Why why why did I think this was a good idea? 


	4. Ketchup and Harshbrowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Yamazaki:** I’d rather be eaten by a shark than have a crush on Nanase.
> 
>  **NanaSayWhat:** I bet you would
> 
>  **Sharknado:** wut

**[10:40 AM]**

**starrynight:** buckle up bitches it's story time 

**starrynight:** my mom is a very busy woman and we don't spend a lot of time together, so when she suggests stuff that I hate I still do it so we can hang out 

**starrynight:** so today, saturday, we go to the mall, and we shit talk about the overpriced crap that the store sells that she could EASILY design better

 **starrynight:** she's getting into fashion now did I mention that? 

**starrynight:** anyway! we’re having a good time, laughing, bonding, all that good shit, when IT happens 

**starrynight:** I can see you're all online. Why am I shouting into the void? 

**GouAway:** we’re captivated by your story. please continue. 

**starrynight:** oh. thank you. 

**starrynight:** so mom walks off seemingly forever and I'm trapped in the bra section trying to find something cute and functional and one that fits 

**Thunderclap:** hint: you only get two outta three 

**starrynight:** ikr?! 

**starrynight:** it should be easy since my chest is the size of baby oranges but nope! bra equality means we all suffer 

**spikethesun:** amen sister 

**starrynight:** but then I finally found the perfect one. mostly orange with like black designs on it and it came with matching underwear and I swear I almost started crying 

**Girls4Girls:** Our school colors 

**starrynight:** yes exactly! 

**starrynight:** so I go try it on—fits perfectly! almost did a flip I was so happy. and it wasn't even that expensive so I was like ima be an adult and buy it myself 

**starrynight:** and then IT happens while I'm standing in line 

**starrynight:** IT comes in the form of three fuckbois wearing stained tank tops basketball shorts and snapbscks 

**Rei’sTwin:** I just threw up a little in my mouth 

**starrynight:** how do you think I felt?! but it doesn't stop there 

**SugarRush:** oh no

 **starrynight:** in my nervous state I dropped the candy I had picked up with my sweaty hands

 **starrynight:** I squatted to get it. I didn't bend over, I squatted. like my butt was an inch away from the ground 

**starrynight:** and when I stood up 

**starrynight:** I felt a hand grab. my. ass 

**BestSenpai:** *puts on my ass kicking boots* 

**Glassheart:** Guess it's time to live up to my criminal persona and literally murder three people 

**Sharknado:** i have access to my dad’s old fishing boat

 **Girls4Girls:** Hitoka please continue with your story so that we may avenge you properly. 

**starrynight:** as you can probably guess I was #shook. I wanted to cry because there was so many emotions welling up inside my body. I thought I was gonna explode 

**starrynight:** and I did 

**starrynight:** I paid for my cute bra and panties and candy. thanked the nice lady for bagging them. then apologized for what I was about to do next 

**starrynight:** I grabbed the little microphone thing next to the register and said very calmly 

**starrynight:** “to the three jerks who stood behind me in line four, but mostly to the one in the blue tank top who touched my butt. im twelve” 

**starrynight:** then I watched as security hauled him and his gross ass friends away. then me and my mom got ice cream after I stress sobbed in the car for ten minutes 

**starrynight:** and that my friends is how I spent my morning 

 

 **[11:25 AM]**

**Ahogay:** Will you go out with me Yachi? 

**Ahogay:** that was the most amazing that I've ever heard and I'm so proud to call you my manager 

**Ahogay:** it doesn't have to be a romantic thing. we can just hang out as friends 

**Ahogay:** but I'd really like to spend more time with you. I've wanted to ask for a while but I never got the courage 

**Ahogay:** and this isn't private chat at all brb kms

 

**[11:31 AM]**

**starrynight:** I'd love to go on a friend date with you Yamaguchi 

**Ahogay:** ^~^

 

 **[1:39 PM]**

**Yamazaki:** [Mood](https://youtu.be/O1a4uZA58nY)

 **GouAway:** ah I love this song!

 **starrynight:** that was so pretty. 

**LeQuack:** who was that about senpai?

 **ThugSeme:** yeah souchan! whos the lucky ducky?

 **Sharknado:** ur dating someone and you didn't tell me? so much for best friends 

**Yamazaki:** Shut up I'm not dating anyone. 

**Sharknado:** no need to lie. ill just ask kisumi. he knows everything. 

**Yamazaki:** I’m not dating anyone. 

**spikethesun:** GASP

 **spikethesun:** it's a crush! It's totally a crush!

 **ThugSeme:** you're right shouchan! Souchan who's your crush you have to tell us!!!

 **ThugSeme:** is it haruchan?

 **Yamazaki:** I’d rather be eaten by a shark than have a crush on Nanase. 

**NanaSayWhat:** I bet you would

 **Sharknado:** wut

 **Yamazaki:** Die. 

**NanaSayWhat:** already dead 

**Mamakoto:** Haruuuu don't say things like that! 

**NanaSayWhat:** [dont kabedon me bitch](http://www.apexvendingmachines.com/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/BevMax4\(Dasani\)_Crane.jpg?itok=QJ0FSc8H)

 **BeetleKing:** why does it feel like we’re missing key information? 

**NanaSayWhat:** just don't get in Rin's way 

**Sharknado:** wut

 

**[4:08 PM]**

**LeQuack:** Suga are you my dad?

 **SugarRush:** what???

 **ThugSeme:** i though souchan was team dad tho

 **Yamazaki:** Do not put that responsibility on my shoulder. 

**LeQuack:** well we both have grayish hair and I have a mole by my right eye and you have one by your left eye

 **LeQuack:** and my biological father isn't… the best 

**BeetleKing:** Nitori senpai?

 **Mamakoto:** Is everything alright?

 **LeQuack:** I'm not as strong as he was when he was my age and I think he's disappointed. I'm an only child and I'm not even that great of a swimmer so he has nothing to talk about when he's with his friends who have sons my age 

**Sharknado:** wtf ai you're a great swimmer! you just gotta train more. you think I came out the pussy like fucking phelps?! 

**SugarRush:** yes 

**Mamakoto:** Huh??!!!

 **SugarRush:** I am your dad now Nitori 

**Mamakoto:** Oh. 

**LeQuack:** yay!!!

_LeQuack has changed their name to SugasSon_

**SugarRush:** Daichi I'm going to Iwatobi to see my son right now 

**Captain:** Iwatobi is two hours away and we have a match tomorrow 

**SugarRush:** I give not a single fuck 

**Thunderclap:** but Daichi is team dad. you're team mom Suga 

**SugarRush:** as one half of the team parents I've taught you better than to have these heteronormative thoughts 

**spikethesun:** so I have three dads?

 **SugarRush:** yes 

**SugarRush:** wait no. three? whos the third? 

**spikethesun:** bokutosan!!!

 **Captain:** He is not your dad. 

**spikethesun:** but nitori is stealing sugasan so I need another one!!

 **ThugSeme:** if shouchan gets three dads I want three dads!

 **NanaSayWhat:** no

 **ThugSeme:** :((((((

 **Captain:** This is the second adoption I've witnessed in the past week 

**SugarRush:** who was the first?

 **Captain:** Oh would you look at the time I've got to get to bed 

**BeetleKing:** its 4 in the noon tho?

 **Sharknado:** the noon 

**Thunderclap:** the noon 

**BestSenpai:** the noon

 **ThugSeme:** the noon

 **Yamazaki:** The moon

 **Yamazaki:** *noon

 **Glassheart:** Daichi escaped btw 

**SugarRush:** FUCK 

 

 **[6:23 PM]**

**EnNOshita:** Ice cream cake. Is it more ice cream than cake, or more cake than ice cream? 

_EnNOshita added NAHrita and OhShita to the group_

**EnNOshita:** Discuss. 

**OhShita:** Fuck off Chikara I'm so done with your shit 

**NAHrita:** You brought this up during lunch and I almost murdered you why don't you learn 

**Glassheart:** I'm having pizza flashbacks 

**Thunderclap:** wait wait wait lets hear him out

 **OhShita:** Why?! 

**Thunderclap:** the power is out at my place and I'm bored as fuck. mom in training go! 

**EnNOshita:** The internet describes an ice cream cake as “a type of cake that contains or consists of a layer or layers of ice cream”

 **BestSenpai:** with you so far 

**EnNOshita:** Well which is it? Is it a layer of ice cream or layers multiple? 

**Kei’sTwin:** Let's assume that for every layer of ice cream, there are two layers of cake, one above and below it. To get an equal amount of both, the ice cream layer must be the same volume as the cake layers. 

**Kei’sTwin:** For example, if you have a cake with three ice cream layers, then the cake would be assembled as such: 

**Kei’sTwin:**  
Cake  
Ice cream  
Cake  
Ice cream  
Cake  
Ice cream  
Cake 

**NAHrita:** Idk who you are but I love you 

**OhShita:** Get rekt cheeky bara 

**Thunderclap:** nice job ryugazaki! finally putting this jerkwad in his place! 

**EnNOshita:** Your pretty little math only works in a perfect world. Have you ever seen an ice cream sandwich? Those cookies aren't even half as thick as the ice cream rectangle. 

**Glassheart:** don't say that word please I'm having pizza flashbacks 

**Kei’sTwin:** While you are correct in that aspect 

**BestSenpai:** noooooooo

 **Kei’sTwin:** Let me ask you a question as well. 

**EnNOshita:** Listening

 **Kei’sTwin:** Have you ever eaten an ice cream sandwich and thought “I want more cookie”? 

**EnNOshita:** ….

 **EnNOshita:** I 

**EnNOshita:** Never 

**Kei’stwin:** Exactly. 

**Thunderclap:** OOHHHHHHHHH

 **BestSenpai:** someone give the boy a mic so he can drop it! 

**OhShita:** Can we keep you? 

**ThugSeme:** no 

**Rei’sTwin:** No 

**Thunderclap:** ohohoho 

**Captain:** I didn't know Kuroo was here 

**SugarRush:** you've talking with kuroo? 

**Captain:** What about ice cream sandwiches with more than one flavor? 

**EnNOshita:** Don't do this to me I’m so fucked up right now 

**ThugSeme:** wait what's bakers alaska again? 

**Kei’sTwin:** Baked Alaska is a dessert food consisting of ice cream and cake topped with browned meringue.

 **Thunderclap:** so ice cream cake with an extra layer 

**NAHrita:** What's the math on that?

 **EnNOshita:** Stop I'm freaking out! 

**Glassheart:** Daichi escaped btw 

**SugarRush:** son of a bitch! 

 

 **[10:20 PM]**

**spikethesun:** coming outta my room  
and I've been doing real good  
gotta gotta go eat  
the food—I want it all 

**UltimateSetter:** it started out with a dish  
how did it end up like this?  
it was only a dish, it was only a dish

 **BestSenpai:** now I'm filling my plate  
and she's eating a crab  
while he's a telling a joke  
and she's having a laugh 

**Thunderclap:** now they're cooking a stew  
and I'm having fondu  
and it's all kinds of good 

**spikethesun:** but she's eating his chexmix  
he takes out her nesquik  
in a bowl~

 **UltimateSetter:** I just can't cook the grilling meat  
or this buttered roll~ 

**BestSenpai:** burger king, salads are a made up thing  
scarfing down a hershey pie  
choking on too salty fries 

**Thunderclap:** but it's cheap, the price I pay  
mickey ds is calling me  
their shake machine has bro-ken down  
now I'm a hungry clown 

 

 **[10:35 PM]**

**Rei’sTwin:** That was awful 

**spikethesun:** nu uh!

 **Thunderclap:** that was art at its finest 

**Ahogay:** uhhhhhh

 **BestSenpai:** you think you could do better?! 

**Rei’sTwin:** Much

 **starrynight:** probably???

 **UltimateSetter:** then prove it!

 **Ahogay:** suit yourselves. hit it Tsukki!! 

_SugarRush renamed this group “epic song battles of Karasuno”_

**Yamazaki:** Really Sugawara? 

**SugarRush:** hush you hunk my kids are throwing down 

**SugarRush:** *kouhai

 **Captain:** Hunk?

 **SugarRush:** now you show up?!?! 

**Rei’sTwin:** I'm going out to the mall  
And I'm not doing so great  
Gotta go get new clothes  
Cause I'm too fucking tall 

**starrynight:** it started with measurements  
how did it end up like this?  
it was only an inch, it was only an inch 

**Ahogay:** now I'm trying them on  
and she asks if they fit  
But the color is wrong  
And I look like a shit 

**Rei’sTwin:** Now I'm putting them back  
And my body is cold  
And she looks at my rack 

**starrynight:** but she measures my chest  
now, i am in distress  
why won't they grow~ 

**Ahogay:** cause I can't afford the pretty bras  
not with my payroll~

 **Rei’sTwin:** Skinny jeans, wrinkle at the sight of steam  
Crop tops show my belly meat  
Commenters are rather mean 

**starrynight:** too much is the price I pay  
debit cards taken away 

**Ahogay:** closing down my bank account~  
three fifty was the amount 

 

**[10:50 PM]**

**BestSenpai:** boooooo!!!!

 **Thunderclap:** #thatsucked

 **Ahogay:** you're just jealous :p

 **spikethesun:** who won sugasan!? 

**SugarRush:** dunno. need more people to vote

 **Glassheart:** I think everyone did a good job 

**Mamakoto:** That's looking on the bright side of things. :D 

**Rei’sTwin:** That’s clever 

**UltimateSetter:** that's clever~

 **starrynight:** that’s clever~~~

 **spikethesun:** thats cleeeveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr~~~~~~~

 **Yamazaki:** Do not encourage that 

 

**[12:30 AM]**

**Glassheart:** [Watch this now](https://youtu.be/97Z6E9Zk43I)

 **Thunderclap:** is it porn? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Glassheart:** What? Ew no 

**Glassheart:** it's a video of this guy making really tiny pancakes 

**Kei’sTwin:** Oh dear. Is Makoto-senpai online?

 **NanaSayWhat:** yes 

**ThugSeme:** quick delete the link! don't let him see it!!!

 **Glassheart:** Why not?

 **Mamakoto:** OH MY GOOOOD 

**Mamakoto:** THIS IS IT THIS IS IT 

**Mamakoto:** I TOLD YOU GUYS I WASNT CRAZY 

**Mamakoto:** THANK YOU ASAHI THANK YOU THANK UOU YHABKY YOU

 **Mamakoto:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **ThugSeme:** that's why 

**Kei’sTwin:** He stumbled upon a YouTube channel that he claims “changed his entire life”, but had lost it when his siblings messed around on his computer 

**Kei’sTwin:** This is that channel 

**Glassheart:** But it's a really neat channel! And the food can actually be eaten 

**ThugSeme:** we know 

**Kei’sTwin:** Makoto-senpai mentioned it in his thirty slide PowerPoint presentation 

**NanaSayWhat:** he's outside my door begging me to help him make tiny pancakes 

**Glassheart:** oh no...

 **NanaSayWhat:** you've doomed us all azumane 

**Glassheart:** (;´д｀) I'm sorry 

**NanaSayWhat:** tell that to my soon to be burned kitchen 

 

**[2:00 AM]**

**Sharknado:** who else likes the little sting of pain u get when your lips are chapped and the skin breaks?

 **GouAway:** Kinkshaming you brother 

**SugasSon:** I never knew you were an M senpai 

**Yamazaki:** Is this why you wanted the bottom bunk?

 **BeetleKing:** matsuoka senpai bottoms?

 **Sharknado:** WHY R U ALL AWAKE GO TO BED


	5. Passive-Aggressive Post-It Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SugarRush:** I'll have you know that Kageyama is the VICE PRESIDENT of the pretty setters. He's in the original five. There wouldn't be a club without him!
> 
>  **Yahabet:** Oh yeah? If he's vice president then I’d hate to know who the president is
> 
>  **HOikawa:** I'm the president.

**[11:00 AM]**

_SugarRush added UltimateSetter, Kittyma, Akaashi, and OeCowAh to this group_

_SugarRush renamed this group We Rise_

 

 **OeCowAh:** daaaaamnn koushi back at it again with the pretty setter squad

 **OeCowAh:** oh shit hold up

_OeCowAh changed their name to HOikawa_

**HOikawa:** much better 

**SugarRush:** tooruuuuu I missed you  <3

 **UltimateSetter:** the fact that you two are friends is painful to remember 

**Kittyma:** aren't we all friends ?

 **UltimateSetter:** Hi Kozu

 **Kittyma:** Hi Kags 

**HOikawa:** um excuse me 

**HOikawa:** I did not approve these nicknames where did they come from? 

**Akaashi:** did u not get the email I sent about new nicknames ?

 **HOikawa:** no? 

**Akaashi:** Kenny?

 **Kittyma:** yup. hate that one 

**Akaashi:** Yam Yam? 

**UltimateSetter:** I got the fax. also hate that one 

**HOikawa:** underclassmen are so mean 

**SugarRush:** I'm just as betrayed gk 

**UltimateSetter:** gk?

 **HOikawa:** grand king duh! Your bf made it up 

**UltimateSetter:** bf?

 **HOikawa:** shrimpy chan 

**UltimateSetter:** Hinata isn't my best friend!

 **Kittyma:** …mmmm

 **SugarRush:** precious 

**UltimateSetter:** besides Hinata likes Kozu better than me 

**Akaashi:** tru 

**SugarRush:** keiji! 

**HOikawa:** let's get back to this later 

**HOikawa:** why have you summoned us koushi. I thought we fell apart 

**SugarRush:** we did, and I'm sorry for not being strong enough to hold us together. I've let you down, my pretty setters 

**UltimateSetter:** Sugasan…

 **SugarRush:** but I'm here to make things right! We must add more 

**Kittyma:** what 

**SugarRush:** tooru and I will be graduating this year, which would leave you three as the only pretty setters. That's boring af 

**HOikawa:** we must bring in the new wave of pretty setters 

**Akaashi:** Do we have to? Five is so easy 

**UltimateSetter:** and comfortable 

**SugarRush:** I wouldn't do this if it wasn't absolutely necessary. But we all have to be in agreement. Who's in?

 **HOikawa:** this is crazy but I stand by my sugachan

 **SugarRush:** aren't I older than u?

 **HOikawa:** don't 

**Akaashi:** I'm in. Three people would get lonely 

**Kittyma:** fine w/e

 **UltimateSetter:** No. 

**UltimateSetter:** it doesn't matter if we add more ppl im still the only first year setter. Except for that bird guy on date tech but Hinata said Aone said he didn't like messaging apps 

**Kittyma:** Kags 

**UltimateSetter:** no kozume 

**Kittyma:** Kageyama 

**UltimateSetter:** No Kenma 

**Kittyma:** ...please tobi-yama 

**Akaashi:** oh shit 

**HOikawa:** oh shit what 

**Akaashi:** that's Hinata's nickname for Kags 

**SugarRush:** PRECIOUS 

**UltimateSetter:** …. fine. but I won't like it 

**HOikawa:** good enough for us! 

**SugarRush:** alright. I'm gonna create a new chat later. From this point onward it will no longer be just the five of us 

**UltimateSetter:** I'm gonna stress vomit 

 

**[11:45 AM]**

_SugarRush added UltimateSetter, Kittyma, Akaashi, HOikawa, Moniwa, Yahabet, Semierect, and Shiraboob to this group_

_SugarRush renamed this group Pretty Setters Club_

 

 **SugarRush:** Welcome fellow setters! This is your life now. 

**HOikawa:** jesus koushi way to be a creep 

**Yahabet:** Oikawa-senpai is that you?

 **HOikawa:** Yes! It's really me Shigchan! 

**Yahabet:** You spelled hoe wrong

 **HOikawa:** there is no e in ho unless you're a farmer like ushiwaka 

**Semierect:** Wait. Oikawa. As in Oikawa from Seijou? 

**HOikawa:** that would be correct 

**Shiraboob:** Why the fuck do you know my Skype name? 

**Semierect:** Watch your fucking language 

**Shiraboob:** Fucking make me 

**Kittyma:** do teams with two setters always fight like this? 

**SugarRush:** I didn't fight with kageyama

 **Yahabet:** Oikawa-san is very kind to me! He helps me with my form and everything 

**UltimateSetter:** ……

 **UltimateSetter:** I'm leaving 

**HOikawa:** oh don't be like that tobio-chan. he's on my team I'm supposed to help him 

**Akaashi:** Kags was on your team too jackass. 

**Akaashi:** I know all about that backstory

 **Kittyma:** same 

**SugarRush:** wait what? Is there more to the story than just Tooru being a butt and not teaching my son to jump serve?

 **Shiraboob:** son?

 **Akaashi:** I’d tell you Suga but 

**Kittyma:** what happens at training camp stays at training camp 

**HOikawa:** I have no idea what you're talking about I'm an angle

 **Semierect:** Right or obtuse? 

**Shiraboob:** he's definitely not acute 

**Kittyma:** wow 

**Akaashi:** I like these two

 **HOikawa:** I h8 all of u 

**Yahabet:** :(

 **SugarRush:** :( 

**HOikawa:** all of u except for sugachan and shigchan

 **SugarRush:** :) 

**Yahabet:** :)

 

 **[12:08 PM]**

**Moniwa:** You know I'm not a setter anymore right Sugawara?

 **SugarRush:** nonsense! rule number two of the pretty setters club “Once a setter, always a setter”

 **Yahabet:** What's rule number one? 

**Semierect:** If I wanted arbitrary rules I'd play D &D with Satori. 

**Moniwa:** Oh! I love D &D! 

**Akaashi:** dicks and donuts? 

**Kittyma:** chill 

**Kittyma:** there are child present 

**HOikawa:** do the other owls know about this side of u keiji?

 **Akaashi:** nope 

**Kittyma:** kuro knows 

**UltimateSetter:** that's why his hair is so messy. its full of secrets 

**Yahabet:** Did you just… Mean Girls? 

**UltimateSetter:** Oikawa-san made us watch it every third Wednesday of every month 

**Yahabet:** Did you wear pink?

 **UltimateSetter:** duh 

**UltimateSetter:** I kinda miss those sleepovers tbh 

**SugarRush:** I'll watch Mean Girls with you Kageyama! 

**Yahabet:** We should start a new era Oikawa-senpai!

 **UltimateSetter:** no 

**HOikawa:** sorry shigchan, but I can't 

**UltimateSetter:** it's a kita-ichi thing 

**Yahabet:** Most of your old team is at Seijou! You don't even like this wannabe pretty boy setter! 

**SugarRush:** Excuse me? 

**Akaashi:** Calm Suga

 **Moniwa:** I didn't know setters were so scary what did I miss? 

**SugarRush:** I'll have you know that Kageyama is the VICE PRESIDENT of the pretty setters. He's in the original five. There wouldn't be a club without him! 

**Yahabet:** Oh yeah? If he's vice president then I’d hate to know who the president is 

**HOikawa:** I'm the president. 

**Kittyma:** looool 

**Semierect:** poor boy played himself and his team 

**Shiraboob:** I can feel the regret all the way from Shiratorizawa

 **SugarRush:** rest in popcorn yahaba

 **Akaashi:** I think you're very pretty Yam Yam

 **UltimateSetter:** thx

 **UltimateSetter:** still hate that name 

 

 **[3:47 PM]**

**HOikawa:** So. Now that SOMEONE has hopefully learned their lesson, I think we should explain the rules. 

**SugarRush:** Rule One: “All setters are pretty” 

**Kittyma:** Rule Two: “Once a setter, always a setter” 

**Akaashi:** Rule Three: “Setters are pretty, not petty” 

**UltimateSetter:** Rule Four: “Setters help, not hurt”

 **HOikawa:** and finally Rule Five: “What happens in chat stays in chat” 

 

 **[4:15 PM]**

**Shiraboob:** When you're invited to a group that quickly turned into a cult 

**Semierect:** What's to stop us from leaving the chat and blocking all of you? 

**Kittyma:** once a month we all get Starbucks and whoever loses the Rock Paper Scissors tournament pays for everyone 

**Moniwa:** Remember that time Suga had to call Daichi because he didn't have enough money?

 **SugarRush:** things cost too much money and y'all are greedy bitches hush ur face 

**Akaashi:** remember when Kenma had three Caramel Macchiatos and almost fucking died?

 **Kittyma:** u know my body can't handle lots of sugar but you let me get them anyway. I could sue you for attempted murder 

**Shiraboob:** I'm both fearful and intrigued by these outings 

**Moniwa:** Nine people is a lot to pay for tho 

**UltimateSetter:** 10 

**Yahabet:** Can't you read? There's only nine people here. 

**UltimateSetter:** oh wait 

_UltimateSetter added meyeah to the group_

**UltimateSetter:** now it's everyone 

**meyeah:** Theeeeeere you are Tobio-kun. I was starting to think you'd lost my info 

**HOikawa:** what tf is this and why is it here 

**UltimateSetter:** Miya Atsumu. Second year setter. Six foot tall even. Goes to Inarizaki High School 

**meyeah:** Haha! That's so cute. Still a goody two shoes even after all I taught you? 

**HOikawa:** and what exactly did you teach him?

 **SugarRush:** plz share with the rest of the class 

**meyeah:** uh oh am I in trouble?

 **meyeah:** Are these your super cool senpai Tobio-kun? The ones you like so much?

 **UltimateSetter:** this is why I don't text you you're embarrassing 

**meyeah:** I just wanna get to know your friends! Cause the two of us are friends aren't we?

 **UltimateSetter:** in a sense 

**Moniwa:** I'm getting weird vibes from this guy

 **Akaashi:** same

 **Kittyma:** be careful Kags

 **meyeah:** aawwwww you've got a protection squad too? Adorable 

**UltimateSetter:** I'm not a baby. I can look after myself. And you shut up before I block you and kick you out 

**SugarRush:** Don't you have a test to study for Kageyama? You've gotta improve or they won't let you play remember? 

**HOikawa:** You too, Shigchan. I want to see top marks! 

**Yahabet:** Yes Oikawa-senpai! 

**UltimateSetter:** fine. Hinata says to text him back Kenma

 **Kittyma:** Kay 

 

 **[5:00 PM]**

_Private Chat between You and HOikawa_

 

 **HOikawa** I don't trust this Miya Atsumu person. He's a bad influence on Tobio Chan 

**SugarRush:** I'm not crazy about him either, but what can we do? We're not Kageyama’s parents. 

**HOikawa** let's kick him from the chat 

**SugarRush:** we can't do that 

**HOikawa** why the hell not?! 

**SugarRush:** because Kageyama made a friend all on his own. Kicking Miya out will only make him rebel and act more like him 

**HOikawa** he called Tobio a goody two shoes! 

**HOikawa** that's insulting to me as his senpai! 

**SugarRush:** former senpai 

**HOikawa** really koushi? this again? 

**SugarRush:** no shit up 

**SugarRush:** shut*

 **HOikawa** lol 

**SugarRush:** we keep an eye on Miya and do something only if we need to 

**SugarRush:** I'll tell akaashi and kenma to do the same 

**HOikawa** fine 

**HOikawa** sugachan?

 **SugarRush:** yeah? 

**HOikawa** am I a goody two shoes?

 **SugarRush:** you are the baddest bitch in the game babe 

**HOikawa** thank you :’) 

 

**[7:30 PM]**

**Akaashi:** If you're gonna be difficult let's just settle it here 

**Kittyma:** we really don't have to do this at all 

**Akaashi:** You brought this on yourself by putting Bokuto san into it. Take your lumps 

**Moniwa:** I sense an argument 

**HOikawa:** I heard drama where's the tea?

 **Kittyma:** the only tea here is stupidity 

**UltimateSetter:** Must be serious if kozu is using puns 

**Kittyma:** this is all kuros fault

 **SugarRush:** spill thy beans young one

 **Akaashi:** Ugh fine. We—me Kenny ass-san and Bokuto-san were playing cooking mama on the wii. I was making a cake since I won the coin flip dice roll to do a solo dish

 **Kittyma:** u mean when u cheated and used your disgusting feet to move the die when no one was looking 

**Akaashi:** My feet are clean and smooth shut your damn mouth 

**Akaashi:** So I was decorating my cake, minding my own business, when ass-san says “that's not enough frosting”

 **Shiraboob** Wait who is ass-san? 

**Moniwa:** Kuroo Tetsurou 

**SugarRush:** The captain of Nekoma. You haven't met him

 **SugarRush:** You'll see him at nationals. From the stands 

**Semierect:** Fuck you 

**Akaashi:** Anyway! Kuroo says that and I'm like “what?” And he says “That’s not enough frosting for the cake. You only did like a knife swipe on each side. No way that's enough”

 **SugarRush:** I mean he's not wrong. One knife swipe of frosting isn't nearly enough. 

**Semierect:** It's a fucking video game??

 **Yahabet:** If you frost in the game you frost for real!

 **Kittyma:** ^^

 **Akaashi:** ANYWAY 

**Akaashi:** It turns into this whole thing because some sick freak lured in an innocent 

**Kittyma:** Don't vauge me key chain 

**UltimateSetter:** Now THAT is an awful nickname 

**Akaashi:** Fine. Kuroo asked Bokuto-san how much frosting was the proper amount for a cake, and before he could answer, pudding boy here said “If you put frosting on a muffin, does that make it a cupcake?” 

**Moniwa:** Oh. No. 

**Yahabet** Why?!

 **Kittyma:** It was a valid question 

**Akaashi:** Bokuto-san was clearly traumatized and unwell. We had to turn the game off he was so distraught 

**Moniwa:** Whose house were you guys at? 

**Kittyma:** Mine

 **Akaashi:** Which means I had to deal with a ranting, raving owl for a twenty minute train ride and a fifteen minute walk! 

**Shiraboob:** That's only thirty five minutes 

**Akaashi:** He made a diagram. Several diagrams! 

**HOikawa:** did he make a pie chart? 

**Akaashi:** blocked 

 

**[8:05 PM]**

**Yahabet:** Guess who got a job at Oliver Garden! 

**Yahabet:** Well part time. But I'm getting paid double for the first month since they're super low on staff. 

**HOikawa:** good job shigchan! but will you be able to handle school, a job and volleyball 

**Yahabet:** Absolutely! Even if we can't play I'll still train and do my best to lead the team! 

**HOikawa:** haha I have no doubts in you shigchan! (⌒▽⌒)

 **Semierect:** How sweet. I'm getting sick just reading this 

**HOikawa:** go to hell

 **Semierect:** See you there 

**meyeah:** Aw dude I love Oliver garden 

**meyeah:** Those unlimited stews, roughage and carb dildos are great 

**Moniwa:** The ones you can get for just four hundred and ninety nine pennies?? 

**meyeah:** The very same my friend! Act now and you'll get a 1500 penny gift card! 

**Yahabet:** Olive* jeez

 **Kittyma:** carb dildos?

 **Moniwa:** Breadsticks as they're known on the streets 

**Shiraboob:** Cheddar biscuits are better

 **Yahabet:** Says who? 

**Shiraboob:** Says the guy working at Red Lobster aka me 

**Yahabet:** Well the guy working at red lobster aka you is a fucking tool!

 **HOikawa:** Language! 

**Yahabet:** Sorry Oikawa-senpai! 

**SugarRush:** Can't we just agree that both breadsticks and cheddar biscuits are good? 

**Yahabet:** No 

**Shiraboob:** No 

**UltimateSetter:** I personally enjoy a good buttered roll 

**Yahabet:** Which is like a round breadstick!

 **Shiraboob:** In the shape of a cheddar biscuit! 

**Moniwa:** Dinner rolls are the illegitimate love child of the breadstick and the cheddar biscuit #confirmed 

**Semierect:** Garlic bread trumps both of those 

**HOikawa:** I fucking love garlic bread. 

**HOikawa:** crispy around the edges and soft and buttery in the middle mmmmm

 **Semierect:** I ate seven pieces at my aunts wedding and stole like five more 

**meyeah:** you guys sure do talk about food a lot don't y'all eat 

**Moniwa:** Sometimes I freeze my tears and add strawberry syrup 

**HOikawa:** I have half a peanut butter cracker in my desk drawer 

**SugarRush:** I just ate what I thought was an old raisin. It was not. 

**Yahabet:** … I can get you guys coupons…?

 **Moniwa:** No food, we starve like men 

 

 **[8:17 AM]**

**SugarRush:** I think I might be pregnant 

**HOikawa:** what by who??? 

**HOikawa:** wait why?

 **SugarRush:** I'm craving vanilla ice cream and salt and vinegar chips at 8 in the morning 

**HOikawa:** damn those are good. now I want some 

**HOikawa:** Shit am I pregnant 

**Semierect:** I guess I know why your name is hoikawa

 **Semierect:** Too bad the list of potential fathers is longer than your list of losses to Shiratorizawa 

**HOikawa:** hey do me a favor and take a bath with a toaster 

**Semierect:** Sure! Right after you shove your tiny dick into a pencil sharpener 

**meyeah:** I love this chat

 

 **[11:00 AM]**

**Akaashi:** When you can't open a package using the ‘tear here’ seal and you contemplate setting yourself on fire 

**UltimateSetter:** ^^^^^^^^^

 

**[3:20 PM]**

**Yahabet:** Who the fuck ate my white cheddar popcorn?

 **HOikawa:** language 

**Yahabet:** Sorry! 

**Shiraboob:** Literally no one because white cheddar popcorn is disgusting. 

**Yahabet:** You’re disgusting 

**Shiraboob:** Your mom

 **Shiraboob:** Is disappointed in your life choices and wished you'd talk to her more. She's worried about you 

**Kittyma:** wow 

**Yahabet:** Hit a little too close to home 

**Shiraboob:** Shit my bad fam

 **Yahabet:** It’s all good 

**HOikawa:** i think iwachan ate the popcorn 

**Yahabet:** Iwaizumi-senpai likes white cheddar popcorn too?!! 

**UltimateSetter:** back off he was my senpai first 

**SugarRush:** you don't like having me as a senpai? :( 

**HOikawa:** you know what they say sugachan, you never forget your first 

**UltimateSetter:** even tho I try really hard to forget about you oikawa san

 

**[9:50 PM]**

**meyeah:** Hot chocolate: drink the boiling water, snort the chocolate powder. 

**UltimateSetter:** you mean milk?

 **meyeah:** Oh I'm sorry. Are we in the presence of a young lord? Please tell me where you got your prize cow to produce only the richest and sweetest of milk. Not all of us can splurge on both milk and cocoa powder. Check your privilege. 

**UltimateSetter:** … what


	6. Character List!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had a comment asking about the characters and what their names were. Since I haven't updated in three months, I figured I could use a reminder too. So! Here's everyone who will be appearing in the chat portions of this train wreck.

**Iwatobi—Samezuka**

Nagisa: ThugSeme

Rei: Kei’sTwin (formerly Reinbow)

Makoto: Mamakoto

Haru: NanaSayWhat

Rin: Sharknado

Sousuke: Yamazaki

Momo: BeetleKing

Ai: SugasSon (formerly LeQuack) 

Gou: GouAway

Kisumi: KissMe

 

 

**Karasuno**

Hinata: spikethesun

Kageyama: UltimateSetter 

Tsukishima: Rei’sTwin (formerly Tyrantosaurus)

Yamaguchi: Ahogay

Yachi: starrynight

Kiyoko: Girls4Girls 

Michimiya: Michan

Tanaka: BestSenpai

Nishinoya: Thunderclap 

Suga: SugarRush 

Daichi: Captain 

Asahi: Glassheart

Ennoshita: EnNOshita

Narita: NAHrita

Kinoshita: OhShita

 

 

**Nekoma**

Kuroo: PITAKS (pit-ax) pain in the ass kuroo-san

Kenma: Kittyma

Yamamoto: CityBoi 

Lev: coolguy

Yaku: yakutitout

Inuoka: Lanky 

 

 

**Fukurodani**

Bokuto: BoHOOTo

Akaashi: Akaashi

 

 

**Seijou**

Oikawa: HOikawa (formerly OeCowAh)

Iwaizumi: HAHjime

Kindaichi: Kindiechi

Kunimi: Kuninnin

Yahaba: Yahabet

Matsukawa: Moneyhoney 

Hanamaki: Honeymoney

 

 

**Shiratorizawa**

Ushijima: Ushijima

Shirabu: Shiraboob

Semi: Semierect

Satori: Monsta

Goshiki: Ghost

 

 

**Date Tech**

Moniwa: Moniwa

Futakuchi: Kendoll

 

 

**Johzenji**

Terushima: Tiramisu

Misaki Hana: Mistake™

 

 

**Inarizaki**

Miya Atsumu: meyeah

Miya Osamu: Samurai 

 

 

**Nohebi**

Daishou: Snek

Kuguri Naoyasu: KIBTK (kib-tic) kikyo is better than kagome


	7. Welcome to the CSA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yakutitout** You keep saying kids like you're 30 or something. Half of your ‘kids’ are taller than you
> 
>  **SugarRush** ALL of your kids are taller than YOU
> 
>  **yakutitout:** Come down here and say that to my fucking face!

**[2:50 PM]**

_SugarRush added Captain, PITAKS, yakutitout, HOikawa, HAHjime, BoHOOTo, Akaashi, Semierect, Ushijima, and Mamakoto to this group_

_SugarRush renamed this group CSA_

 

 **SugarRush** thank u all for joining me here today on this lovely Sunday 

**Semierect** We didn't join 

**Semierect** You just added us 

**SugarRush** ...as the parents of our respective volleyball teams it's important that we stay connected, give advice, and offer solace whenever needed 

**Mamakoto** I'm on the swim team??

 **SugarRush** and makoto is here as a single mom please respect him 

**Semierect** Parents? 

**HOikawa** I call wine mom! 

**PITAKS** I'm the Fun™ parent 

**yakutitout** Can I be the absentee parent? 

**HAHjime** Not unless you take me with you 

**Captain** I didn't think I could regret something more than I did safe space, yet here I fucking am 

**SugarRush** Daichi language!

 **Captain** Why? There's no kohai here. Except for Akaashi, but I think we all know who the irresponsible parent is for Fukurodani 

**BoHOOTo** Hey! Akaashi is a good parent! Don't talk about him like that!

 **HOikawa** What's it like to be that oblivious? I want my innocence back 

**Ushijima:** The first time I lost my innocence, I was thirteen and it was raining. 

**HOikawa** oh no

 **PITAKS** oh yes! I love this guy 

**SugarRush** AHEM 

**SugarRush** Ibelieve I was speaking 

**Semierect** I'm sure you do believe that

 **SugarRush** r00d

 **SugarRush** as I was saying, as parents, it can be difficult keeping our cool while also setting good examples. So here is a place where we can coexist without fear of being imitated by the kids 

**yakutitout** You keep saying kids like you're 30 or something. Half of your ‘kids’ are taller than you 

**SugarRush** ALL of your kids are taller than YOU 

**yakutitout** Come down here and say that to my fucking face!

 **Ushijima:** I was walking home from school when a huge gust of wind tore my umbrella from my hands. I watched it fly off into the sky and disappear onto a rooftop. An upperclassmen who had seen this, looked at me. Then he laughed. I didn't understand such unearned cruelty. Little did I know that was only the beginning. 

 

**[4:21 PM]**

**BoHOOTo** FUCK I MISSED IT 

**HOikawa** missed what 

**BoHOOTo** The blaze :’( 

**HOikawa** Lmao you tried 

**PITAKS** It's 4:20 somewhere buddy 

 

 **[5:00 PM]**

**Semierect** Legit questions time 

**Semierect** How do you get your kohai to get along with each other? 

**SugarRush** Maybe try not hating one of them? We lead by example after all 

**HOikawa** stop being a petty bitch and hating Shira-chan and maybe he'll get over his issues with Shiki-chan

 **Semierect** Don't nickname my kohai 

**Semierect** And I KNOW you aren't talking about anyone being petty 

**Mamakoto** I'd suggest a team bonding exercise. Pair up the ones that aren't getting along and have them work together to see the values each one possesses 

**HOikawa:** This man is too pure I can't even 

**yakutitout** Speaking of problematic kohai…

 **PITAKS** Stop calling Lev problematic. 

**yakutitout** Have you met him?! 

**PITAKS** He just wants your attention. But you know. Positively. 

**yakutitout** He positively gets on my last nerve at least three times a week 

**PITAKS** You’ve never even given him a compliment! Tap into those maternal instincts yakkun!

 **yakutitout** right after you tap into your repressed crush on the basilisk 

**PITAKS** d i v o r c e

 **Mamakoto** Why do you all argue so much? Aren't you friends?

 **PITAKS** Ha

 **HOikawa** friends what's that 

**yakutitout** I haven't met her is she nice 

**Captain** My only friend is The Void 

**Akaashi** It's like my asthma inhaler. Can't live without it, but sometimes I'm tempted 

**BoHOOTo** Wait you have asthma?

 **Akaashi** Ya

 **BoHOOTo** Since when?!

 **Akaashi** Since I was born? 

**BoHOOTo** Why didn't you tell me? 

**Akaashi** You're not my doctor?

 **BoHOOTo** I'm your captain! If I had know I would've made a different training regimen for you 

**Akaashi** I don't want or need special treatment. I wouldn't have joined the team if I couldn't handle it. 

**BoHOOTo** (・Д・)

 **Akaashi** I'll let you know if I ever need something okay? 

**BoHOOTo** I just want you to trust me..

 **Akaashi** I do. I promise. 

**BoHOOTo** Okay. I trust you too! 

**Akaashi** I know Bokuto-san

 **BoHOOTo** :D 

 

 **[6:47 PM]**

**HOikawa** Favorite child GO!

 **HOikawa** No discussion just go! 

**SugarRush** Hmmm Hinata 

**Captain** Yamaguchi 

**PITAKS** Lev

 **yakutitout** Die Kuroo. Inuoka

 **HOikawa** I love all of my kids equally ( ◠‿◠ )

 **HAHjime** I'm not a parent and the above is a lie. 

**BoHOOTo** AKAASHI 

**Akaashi** Bokuto-san. He's a very big child 

**PITAKS:** ^ can't argue with that 

**Semierect** Kawanishi

 **Ushijima** Goshiki

 **Mamakoto** …… Rei 

 

 **[7:10 PM]**

**Semierect** I miss big time rush 

**HOikawa** f u c k 

**HOikawa** same 

**Semierect** Who was your fave?

 **HOikawa** James. His hair was #goals 

**BoHOOTo** I liked Logan cause he was smart. And gay 

**HOikawa** Omg he was not gay 

**PITAKS** Did you see the way he looked at Kendall? Idk about you but I don't look at my best friend like that 

**HOikawa** I do 

**SugarRush:** You're gay Tooru 

**HOikawa** … tru 

**Captain** My best friend is Asahi

 **SugarRush** No the fuck he's not that's my best friend 

**Captain** I knew him first?

 **SugarRush** Well he liked me first 

**Captain** Pfft yeah ok 

**yakutitout** When you find out you're only dating just to get closer to the third wheel friend 

 

**[7:50 PM]**

**HAHjime** Hey I meant to ask earlier 

**HAHjime** What does CSA stand for? 

**SugarRush** The captain senpai association 

**SugarRush** I added the captains and their vice captains 

**PITAKS** Why did you put Yakun in instead of Nobuyuki?

 **SugarRush** Cause idk him 

**Semierect:** and Soekawa is our vice captain 

**SugarRush** WHO? 

**Captain** Don't mind Suga. He added who he knew well-ish from the teams 

**Captain** Anyway. CSA is like the PTA 

**HAHjime** But none of us are parents??

 **SugarRush** And then there's Makoto. A strong independent single mom

 **SugarRush** His vice captain is kind of absent. Shows up physically but not emotionally 

**HOikawa** Oh your poor thing 

**BoHOOTo** So brave Tachibana 

**Mamakoto** Thank you? I think 

 

 **[8:40 PM]**

**BoHOOTo** JUBLx2

 **BoHOOTo** Got two hands for two blunts! 

**BoHOOTo** Got two eyes to see both bongs! 

**BoHOOTo** Ya boy is so high he can see earth all 360 cause he's in space!

 **Semierect** You,,,,

 **Semierect** Have never smoked a day in your life, have you?

 **BoHOOTo** I only have so much don't call me out like this 

 

 **[9:00 PM]**

**yakutitout** I'm. Starving. 

**PITAKS** Hi starving I'm dad 

**yakutitout** I hate you 

**PITAKS** I'm bringing McDonald's 

**yakutitout** I love you 

**SugarRush:** You're always a slut for food 

**yakutitout** Damn straight 

**SugarRush:** Damn *gay 

 

 **[11:30 PM]**

**SugarRush** Least favorite child GO!

 **Mamakoto** This again? 

**yakutitout** You're an awful (Lev) parent Suga 

**SugarRush:** If you have a favorite then you have a least favorite 

**HOikawa** I told you I love all of my kids equally 

**HAHjime** Again, lies. Shittykawa is my least favorite 

**HOikawa** MEAN 

**BoHOOTo** I dislike when someone is sick or can't make it to practice 

**Akaashi** Kuroo-san

 **PITAKS** I'm not your kid! 

**Akaashi** Don't have to be. I'm just stating my least favorite child 

**SugarRush** I wish Tsukishima would open up a little more 

**Captain** Tanaka. He's the easiest to get distracted. 

**PITAKS** I'm still hurt. I'm so nice who could think of me as their least favorite 

**Semierect** Shirabu 

**HOikawa:** no surprise there 

**Ushijima** The neighbor boy who vandalized my garden 

**Mamakoto** No comment. They're my friends not my kids. 

**SugarRush** But you had a favorite earlier 

**Mamakoto** i suddenly can't read 

 

 **[12:09 AM]**

**HOikawa** Three minutes to 12:12!! Write a wish and then hit enter when it's time!!

 

 **[12:12 AM]**

**Captain** I wish my boyfriend would stop flirting with other guys 

**Mamakoto** I wish that my siblings transition well to me being at university 

**BoHOOTo** I wish to spend more time with Akaashi!!! 

**Akaashi** I wish to improve my skills as a setter 

**yakutitout** I wish to get taller 

**PITAKS** I wish that Yakun doesn't get taller 

**yakutitout** die 

**HAHjime** I wish to not be woken up at three in the morning by notifications anymore 

**Semierect** I wish for the team to do well after I graduate 

**HOikawa** I wish to get a boyfriend soon  <3

 **Ushijima** I wish for cake. 

**SugarRush** I wish MY boyfriend trusted me more 

**Captain** I do trust you. It's just hard to be confident when you're drooling over other guys and asking their friends to send pictures 

**SugarRush** that's mostly for laughs! 

**Captain** “Mostly” 

**SugarRush** oh hush. It's you I love Daichi-san  <3333333 

**Captain** …..

 **Captain** I love you too 

 

 **[12:15 AM]**

**BoHOOTo:** Wait 

**BoHOOTo:** Are suga and daichi dating??!!


	8. Ohana means fam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Girls4Girls:** Drop that ass down low and pick that motherfucker up
> 
>  **Girls4Girls:** My apologies. Wrong chat room.

**[10:00 AM]**

**EnNOshita:** Gooooooooooood morning everyone!

 **EnNOshita:** Who wants to talk about breakfast? 

**BestSenpai:** Only if I'm breaking your neck really fast 

**GouAway:** Yikes are all volleyball players so violent?

 **Thunderclap:** Nah! We just hate Chikara 

**GouAway:** I see 

**EnNOshita:** Don't manipulate the masses! I'm just trying to have a friendly discussion 

**Thunderclap:** Oh yeah? My foot wants to have a friendly discussion with your face 

**EnNOshita:** Can you even reach it? 

**BestSenpai:** WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST 

**EnNOshita:** Right. 

**EnNOshita:** It's a simple one this time. What's better: Pancakes or Waffles? 

**Glassheart:** Nooooooooooo 

**Glassheart:** I've still got nightmares from the pizza thing 

**Kei’sTwin:** There's no logic involved in this one. Simply personal preference 

**OhShita:** Please save us from his madness Rei 

**BeetleKing:** Pancakes obviously 

**SugasSon:** Why's that Momo? 

**BeetleKing:** Cause they're fun to make. 

**GouAway:** I agree! You can shape them into hearts or teddy bears! 

**BeetleKing:** Gousan agreed with me !!!! 

**starrynight:** And there's videos of people making characters with different colored batter 

**Rei’sTwin:** That's entirely too troublesome 

**spikethesun:** haaaaaaaah?! 

**Rei’sTwin:** Humans no longer have to hunt and gather for food. Why should I waste my time flipping pancakes when I can just pour the batter into a machine and let technology feed me? 

**spikethesun:** thats so lazy! 

**Rei’sTwin:** It is not lazy. It's efficient. 

**NAHrita:** Who cares? They taste the same either way 

**BeetleKing:** WHAT 

**Thunderclap:** ARE YOU DUMB 

**Ahogay:** they most definitely DO NOT taste the same 

**NAHrita:** It's batter and syrup. Pretty basic. 

**Thunderclap:** YOURE BASIX 

**BestSenpai:** Do you think funnel cakes taste like pancakes? If you put powdered sugar on a pancake it will not be the same 

**UltimateSetter:** I think he's right

 **spikethesun:** HAAAAH?! 

**spikethesun:** you think pancakes and waffles taste the same?! I trusted you Kageyama!

 **UltimateSetter:** What? No! I meant Tsukishima 

**Rei’sTwin:** What about me? 

**UltimateSetter:** I um think waffles are better than pancakes 

**Rei’sTwin:** You do?

 **spikethesun:** YOU DO?! 

**Ahogay:** Why? 

 

**[10:15 AM]**

**UltimateSetter:** Sorry was typing 

**Rei’sTwin:** What a novel? 

**UltimateSetter:** When I was little my mom and dad would make waffles every Saturday morning. We'd put in chocolate chips or sprinkles or whatever we wanted. When it rained we’d eat in the living room and watch movies. This stopped during junior high cause they got really busy. They're the only thing I can make besides eggs and rice without burning the kitchen down. 

**UltimateSetter:** But whatever. It's just food. 

**Rei’sTwin:** I can't believe it 

**Ahogay:** that kageyama wrote something this long? 

**Rei’sTwin:** That King and I have something in common 

 

 **[12:18 PM]**

**Girls4Girls:** Drop that ass down low and pick that motherfucker up

 **Girls4Girls:** My apologies. Wrong chat room. 

**SugarRush:** (´Д` )

 **Captain:** (・Д・)

 **BestSenpai:** (　ﾟдﾟ)

 **Thunderclap:** (´；Д；`)

 

 **[2:34 PM]**

**BeetleKing:** [UrMovesRWeak](https://youtu.be/GvG7CHWyol0)

 **Sharknado:** Me 

**Yamazaki:** Which part? 

**Sharknado:** The dying part 

**Yamazaki:** Same 

**GouAway:** Look at your hair then look at mine 

**ThugSeme:** I like penis now 

**NanaSayWhat:** We’re getting a divorce 

**SugarRush:** I'd leave Daichi for Mark

 **Captain:** Not if I leave you first 

**SugasSon:** When dad and his husband fight 

 

**[4:04 PM]**

**Mamakoto:** Error not found 

**NanaSayWhat:** How long have you been sitting on that one 

**Mamakoto:** A few weeks actually 

**NanaSayWhat:** Good job 

**Mamakoto:** Thank you 

 

 **[4:40 PM]**

**spikethesun:** me: *takes a deep breath*

 **spikethesun:** me: i lo-

 **spikethesun:** anyone who has spent five seconds around me ever: yes, you love volleyball, we know, you love volleyball so much, it’s the light of your life, you love it so much, you just love volleyball, we KNOW, you love volleyball you fucking love volleyball ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE VOLLEYBALL. WE GET IT.

 **Ahogay:** change volleyball to Kenma

 **spikethesun:** dont Out me like this yams

 

 **[6:30 PM]**

**UltimateSetter:** Hey

 **UltimateSetter:** So

 **UltimateSetter:** Um

 **UltimateSetter:** I'm not sure how to say this 

**Rei’sTwin:** Just get to the point King. Not everyone has time to wait on you 

**SugarRush:** Take your time Kageyama. We’re here for you 

**Kei’sTwin:** From vice captain to therapist 

**SugarRush:** I'm a man of many talents 

**spikethesun:** NO 

**SugarRush:** Hinata?

 **spikethesun:** NO NO NO 

**Thunderclap:** What's wrong? 

**ThugSeme:** Are you okay? 

**spikethesun:** YOU CANT DO THIS 

**Glassheart:** What's going on…..

 **Mamakoto:** Is everyone okay?

 **ThugSeme:** Shouyou what's happening 

**UltimateSetter:** I think I should quit the volleyball team. Sugasan is an amazing player and he meshes better with the team. It isn't right that I’m a regular when he's better at keeping everyone together and happy. The time I did get to play was great and I hope you guys win. Thank you for having me. 

_UltimateSetter has left the group_

**spikethesun:** NONONONONO STOP HIM 

**starrynight:** He went offline…

 **BeetleKing:** Oh wow :( 

**Girls4Girls:** I'm guessing he sent the message to Hinata first 

**NAHrita:** Is Kageyama serious?

 **Ahogay:** He's not answering my texts,,,

 **spikethesun:** HE CANT QUIT 

**spikethesun:** WE’RE PARTNERS 

**spikethesun:** HES MY BEST FRIEND 

**spikethesun:** DAICHISAN DO SMTHING

 **spikethesun:** HE BLOCKED ME I CANT MESSAGW HIM SOMEONE HELP NE

 **ThugSeme:** Calm down shouchan

 **spikethesun:** I CNAT

 **ThugSeme:** Call me okay? Call me right now 

**Ahogay:** I can't pm him 

**starrynight:** Me either ! :( 

**EnNOshita:** Did he block all of us?

 **OHshita:** Must be. He knew we’d try to talk him out of it 

**BestSenpai:** Well if he knows we care why would he quit?!

 **SugarRush:** Daichi… :( 

**Captain:** Everybody relax. After the last time CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS left the team, I talked to Takeda-sensei about the proper way of resigning.

 **Glassheart:** I'm sorry..

 **EnNOshita:** Wow @ me next time 

**OHshita:** wow @ me next time 

**NAHrita:** WOW @ ME NEXT TIME 

**Captain:** ………..

 **Captain:** As I was saying. Kageyama has to formally announce that he's leaving. We’ll all get to morning practice early tomorrow, talk with coach beforehand, and see if he can't talk some sense into him. 

 

=_=

 

But it turns out Kageyama had already beaten them to it. 

Coach Ukai was waiting for them at the gym doors, looking tired, which wasn't exactly new, but it was odd. He was usually lively after warm ups. 

“We need to talk with you, Coach,” Daichi said at the front of the pack, standing tall and strong like a proper captain. “It's about–”

“Kageyama. Yeah, I know.”

That gave everyone a moment of pause. 

“You.. you do?” Hinata pushed his way to stand next to Daichi, hands clenched in worry. “What did he say? What did you do?”

If anything their coach looked more uncomfortable than before. He ushered everyone inside and made them sit down before saying anything else. Takeda-sensei was also present, but his smile was less reassuring than he probably meant it to be. 

“Kageyama showed up at the store last night, asking to quit the team.”

There was a stunned silence amongst the team. No one had anticipated that. Ukai looked them over before continuing. 

“I told him no,”–a mostly collective sigh of relief–”But I suspended him from activities for two weeks.”

“WHAT?!” 

It sounded like an angry mob in the second gym. Takeda-sensei looked legitimately scared. Even Kiyoko and Yachi were frowning at the news, looking worried about their teammate who had vanished so suddenly. Ukai let them yell out their feelings for a bit, then put his fingers to his lips and whistled shrilly until everything was quiet. 

“Listen to me! Whatever that kid’s got going on in his head, it's pretty serious if he's wanting to quit. Just give him space to sort it out, alright?”

Mumbled agreements. 

“You can do better than that.”

Slightly less mumbled agreements. 

“Close enough. Now, just because we’re missing a player doesn't mean you all can slack off. Laps then flying falls, and don't half ass it!” 

 

=_=

 

The first three days without Kageyama at practice were weird to put it lightly. It was nice playing with Suga, but Hinata was noticeably less excited. He didn't see his partner in the halls at all, and when he went to see him during lunch, Kageyama wasn't in his classroom or their spot behind the gym. 

On Thursday, after a bathroom break, Hinata finally spotted him coming out of the office with a late pass. He practically teleported down the hallway. 

“Hey! Um hey.”

“Hi.”

“We’re uh, all going to the mall this weekend. Team bonding. You should come with!”

“I'm not on the team anymore, remember?”

Hinata bit his tongue, not wanting to remind the grumpy boy that his absence was only temporary. “You can be my plus one. Please?” He batted his eyelashes and got all up into Kageyama’s face. The taller pushed him away, a hint of a smile on his lips. 

“That only works on Kozume.” When Hinata just stared up at him with those big eyes full of hope, Kageyama relented. “I'll think about it.” 

Hinata cheered, jumping on the spot before racing down the hall back to class.


	9. The King's Court

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kindiechi:** Ohhhh. So now you're a king yourself?
> 
>  **Rei’sTwin:** I'm not that pretentious
> 
>  **starrynight:** Cough
> 
>  **Rei’sTwin:** ….

**[9:30 AM]**

_Kuninnin added Kindiechi, starrynight, spikethesun, Ahogay and Rei’sTwin to this group_

_Kuninnin renamed this group “Viva La Vida”_

 

 **Kuninnin:** Before anyone says ANYTHING let me provide you with proof that we’re cool with Kageyama now 

**Kuninnin:** receiptspart1.jpg

 

_**[3:48 AM]** _

_UltimateSetter has entered The (K)Trio_

_UltimateSetter: I'm sorry_

_UltimateSetter: I know we agreed on not apologizing. Because we’re mad still. But I'm not. Mad. Anymore. I tried to be. But I'm not_

_UltimateSetter: I.. I've learned a lot. From my new team. And. I realized that even tho it felt like it back then, I wasn't on my own. Until I really was. And that fucking sucked._

_UltimateSetter: So. I'm sorry for that Tobio. He didn't mean it, honest._

_UltimateSetter: You guys probably left the group months ago. I don't want to check. So, I'll just. Go to bed I guess._

_UltimateSetter: g’night_

 

_**[3:59 AM]** _

_Kindiechi: same_

_Kindiechi: I mean I'm not angry too. Not anymore._

_Kindiechi: ok I'm still a little mad but not really._

_Kindiechi: I'm mad that I still feel mad_

_Kindiechi: I'm sorry too_

_Kindiechi: Ikindamissedyoutobiobyegnight_

 

 **Kuninnin:** receiptspart2.jpg

 

**_[7:30 AM]_ **

_Kuninnin: it's about god damn time_

_Kuninnin: if I had to listen to one more round of our old playlist, which Yuutarou renamed “what used to (k)be”, I would've killed him and myself_

_Kuninnin: I've uh missed you as well_

_Kuninnin: we were all a bunch of angsty kids_

_Kuninnin: I think it's time we show how much we’ve grown_

_Kindiechi: yeah_

_UltimateSetter: … ok_

 

 **Kuninnin:** thiswasmonday.jpg

 

_TobiOhNoMyMilk: wtf_

_Kuninnin: you said you wanted a new name_

_Kuninnin: you're welcome_

_TobiOhNoMyMilk: this is not what I wanted_

_Kindiechi: jeez akira that's lame_

_Kindiechi: obviously his name should be TobiOrNotTobi_

_TobiOhNoMyMilk: you're literally the only one of us who did that American stirsquare summer reading back in junior high_

_Kuninnin: the ducking what?_

_Kuninnin: Tobio what??_

_Kindiechi: STIRSQUARE IM D E A D_

_Kindiechi: KIGYOMO_

_Kindiechi: ITS SHAKESPEARE_

_TobiOhNoMyMilk: that's what I said_

_Kuninnin: K I G Y O M O_

_Kuninnin: that's your new name it's canon_

_TobiOhNoMyMilk changed their name to Kigyomo_

_Kigyomo: I,,,,, kinda like it actually_

_Kindiechi: chichi for the win yet again_

_Kigyomo: I fuckin forgot I called you that holy shit_

_Kigyomo: I think I still have our codes notebook_

_Kuninnin: !!_

_Kuninnin: bring it to my place this weekend!_

_Kindiechi: he's going to the mall remember_

 

 **Kuninnin:** I think I made my point 

 

 **[11:19 AM]**

**spikethesun:** looks fake but ok 

**Ahogay:** I have a question 

**Kuninnin:** Yes? 

**Ahogay:** What's with the name of the chat

 **Kindiechi:** It's tobios favorite American song. 

**Ahogay:** Hinata confirm?

 **spikethesun:** … it's his favorite yeah 

**spikethesun:** but that could be backlog information they held on to after casting MY BEST FRIEND ASIDE LIKE HE WAS TRASH 

**Rei’sTwin:** He is trash. 

**spikethesun:** SHUT UP SALTYSHIMA

 **Kindiechi:** oh. Wait. THIS is Tsukishima?

 **Rei’sTwin:** Yeah? Is there a problem?

 **Kindiechi:** A big one actually. 

**Kindiechi:** Later scrub 

_Rei’sTwin was kicked from the group_

**spikethesun:** Ok. 

**spikethesun:** That was hilarious. 

**spikethesun:** But y

_Ahogay added Rei’sTwin to the group_

**Kindiechi:** Because he's suck incarnate 

**Kindiechi:** Oops 

**Rei’sTwin:** I lived bitch 

 

 **[3:50 PM]**

**Kuninnin:** Alright. Now that's schools over, I think it's time to talk like rational people 

**spikethesun:** i hope all your hair falls out and gets in your eyes 

**Kuninnin:** Great start 

**starrynight:** Let's just hear them out Hinata. If Kageyama’s been talking to them, maybe they know what's wrong 

**spikethesun:** Sigffhhhhhhh

 **spikethesun:** Fine. Talk. 

**Kindiechi:** Rude 

**Kuninnin:** Shhh! 

**Kuninnin:** Ok so you're all tobios friends yeah 

**Rei’sTwin:** No 

**Kindiechi:** Later scrub 

**Ahogay:** Yes we are 

**starrynight:** Please, we’re really worried about him. After he tried to quit the team, our coach suspended him for two weeks to “figure things out”. 

**Ahogay:** He's blocked everyone on our team and left our chat 

**Rei’sTwin:** A blessing truly 

**spikethesun:** SHUT 

**spikethesun:** i asked him to come to the mall with us Saturday. He said yes, but I'm still kinda scared 

**spikethesun:** whats wrong with him? what happened? 

**Kindiechi:** He quit the team? Really? 

**Ahogay:** He tried to. Our coach wouldn't let him. But after two weeks if he still wants to leave, I think we might lose him 

**Kindiechi:** This is bad. I didn't know he was this bad. Shit. 

**spikethesun:** so you DO know something! 

**Kindiechi:** Yeah ok we know some things 

**Kuninnin:** But we didn't know he was planning to quit! He didn't tell us that I swear 

**starrynight:** I believe them 

**spikethesun:** What?! Why?! 

**starrynight:** Because if they didn't care about Kageyama, they wouldn't have contacted us. 

**Ahogay:** I'm not very close with him, but I know he values ppl who can look past what he can't turn off 

**Rei’sTwin:** Don't give him excuses. The King thinks he's better than everyone else because his head is empty and the only working brain cells he possess are founded on a sport that will not doubt break his body by age twenty six, leaving him without a career path to pursue. 

**Kindiechi:** You. 

**Kindiechi:** Are. 

**Kindiechi:** A cunt. 

**Kindiechi:** But also right 

**spikethesun:** I BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON 

**Kuninnin:** Tobio said the same thing. Not in words like that but 

**Kuninnin:** He's afraid that he isn't good enough to go pro, among other things. And that if he doesn't get his grades up now his entire life will fall apart 

**Kuninnin:** I've never seen him so miserable and down on himself. Not even after we rejected him 

**Rei’sTwin:** Well

 **starrynight:** if you say another god damn mean word I will get a ladder, climb it, and kick your teeth in 

**spikethesun:** O.O 

**Ahogay:** W o w 

**Rei’sTwin:** I

 **Rei’sTwin:** Retract any statements I've made 

**Rei’sTwin:** Not because I'm afraid, but because I respect you 

**Ahogay:** (He's a little afraid) 

**spikethesun:** (I'm a lot afraid) 

**Kuninnin:** Shit 

**Kuninnin:** I gotta go 

**spikethesun:** What?! Now?! 

**spikethesun:** Youre lying! You're hiding him! You kidnapped Kageyama! GIVE ME MY FRIEND 

**Kindiechi:** calm your balls shorty 

**Rei’sTwin:** Heh

 **spikethesun:** h8 u 

**Kuninnin:** My dads home after like three weeks of being away and we gotta bond and shit. I'll be back tonight after dinner 

**Kuninnin:** Don't say anything rude Kin

 **Kindiechi:** No promises 

 

 **[5:07 PM]**

**Ahogay:** Question 

**Ahogay:** Why the (K)Trio?

 **Kindiechi:** You mean the silent K? 

**Rei’sTwin:** That's not just a term you can apply to all words. 

**Kindiechi:** Well! We were gonna go with K Squared, but then we remembered that American racist hate group and had to scrap it 

**Rei’sTwin:** So your solution was to put ‘silent k’ into words without K’s? 

**Kindiechi:** (K)Basically 

 

 **[5:41 PM]**

**spikethesun:** SHALLOT HEAD THATS WHO YOU ARE 

**Kindiechi:** What 

**spikethesun:** I couldn't remember who was who so I looked up seijou online 

**spikethesun:** You're shallot head 

**spikethesun:** The other one is depressed hamster 

**Kindiechi:** … why 

**spikethesun:** Well I've never seen a depressed hamster, but when I think about one, Kunimi comes to mind 

**Kindiechi:** I'm 

**Kindiechi:** Not going to agree or disagree with that 

 

 **[6:09 PM**

**Kuninnin:** I'm an apathetic guinea pig tyvm

 

**[8:28 PM]**

**Kindiechi:** Has everyone eaten? Can we stop avoiding this now?

 **Kuninnin:** I'm finished too 

**spikethesun:** me too 

**Ahogay:** Yup 

**Rei’sTwin:** I'm still eating dessert

 **Kindiechi:** Can I PLEASE kick him out 

**Rei’sTwin:** I second this. Nothing would make me happier than to be free of the King’s never ending cycle of problems. I’m a middle blocker not a fucking life coach 

**Kindiechi:** … just for that you're staying 

**Ahogay:** lol 

**Ahogay:** Tsukki is actually concerned and wants to stay. He thinks using reverse psychology is more effective than communicating his emotions properly 

**Rei’sTwin:** Shut up yamaguchi 

**Ahogay:** Lmao nope 

 

 **[8:35 PM]**

**spikethesun:** “I didn't really get along with you from the start! And that's why next time, we will definitely win!" 

**spikethesun:** Ring any bells shallot head 

**spikethesun:** You hated him. You both did. So don't try and twist this around like you suddenly care!

 **Kindiechi:** We DO care! 

**spikethesun:** Then why'd you take so long to make up with him huh?! Why'd you wait for Kageyama to reach out when you're the ones who pushed him away in the first place? Because you're fake! You think being his friend will make you look better but you're fake and you’ll always be fake! 

_spikethesun was kicked from the group_

**Rei’sTwin:** Heh 

**Kindiechi:** I

 **Kindiechi:** I didn't do that 

**Kuninnin:** Neither did I! 

**starrynight:** I did. 

**starrynight:** Hinata is upset, and worried. Maybe he's right or maybe he's wrong, but we aren't here to talk about who is at fault. 

**starrynight:** It's getting late, so please, if you have anything important to say about Kageyama, tell us now 

**Kuninnin:** Ok. But there's kind of a lot so typing might take a while 

**Rei’sTwin:** Oh joy. Because we have nothing better to do than listen to the King's backstory. 

**Ahogay:** Tsukki..

 **Rei’sTwin:** What 

**Ahogay:** You sad we! 

**Rei’sTwin:** I was using the royal we, meaning myself 

**Kindiechi:** Ohhhh. So now you're a king yourself? 

**Rei’sTwin:** I'm not that pretentious 

**starrynight:** Cough 

**Rei’sTwin:** …. 

**Ahogay:** Lmao nice yachi 

 

 **[8:47 PM]**

**Rei’sTwin:** This is ridiculous! So what. Instead of ‘King of the Court’ we’re the ‘King’s Court’? 

**Ahogay:** I told you guys he wanted to be here 

**Rei’sTwin:** Shut. Your flap. 

**starrynight:** That sounds cool! Who are we in this court of friendship?

 **Ahogay:** Well Kageyama is the King. But a good one now! A little awkward, but definitely good! 

**Rei’sTwin:** Did you both take stupid pills while I went to the bathroom??

 **Rei’sTwin:** Shrimpy is the fool obviously 

**spikethesun:** the proper term is court jester tyvm

 **Rei’sTwin:** How do you know that

 **Rei’sTwin:** And who added you back??

 **spikethesun:** wouldnt you like to know

 **starrynight:** I think Kunimi should be the royal secretary. 

**spikethesun:** What?! No! Why :(

 **starrynight:** Well, the royal secretary often carries out the wishes of the monarch and relays them to the people. Just like Kunimi is telling us how to help Kageyama

 **spikethesun:** but the royal secretary is very close to the king and I don't want him anywhere near Kageyama! 

**starrynight:** Well it's too late! I’ve already decided! 

**spikethesun:** Ugh. Fine. 

**Rei’sTwin:** No seriously how do you all know these things 

**Ahogay:** I'm not very close with Kageyama, so I don't think I'm apart of the court :/ 

**spikethesun:** you can be my plus one! the fools accessory! 

**Ahogay:** I don't think that's a thing 

**spikethesun:** how abt a lady in waiting? 

**Ahogay:** I'm neither a lady nor am I waiting for one 

**spikethesun:** Whatever! Yachi is a herald obviously 

**starrynight:** What's that? 

**Ahogay:** Basically a messenger. Sending the kings word. 

**Ahogay:** (Getting help when two idiots are fighting each other) 

**starrynight:** Oh! I rather like that :) 

**starrynight:** That just leaves three 

**Rei’sTwin:** I'm not taking part of this 

**Ahogay:** more like gentleman of the bedchamber 

**Rei’sTwin:** What 

**Ahogay:** S H I T W R O N G C H A T 

**spikethesun:** LMAO NICE ONE 

**Kuninnin:** w hat did I come back to 

**Ahogay:** Pure gold 

**Rei’sTwin:** A train wreck 

**spikethesun:** We’re deciding who we are in Kageyama's harem 

**spikethesun:** that 

**spikethesun:** was the wrong word 

**spikethesun:** um 

**spikethesun:** huh 

**Ahogay:** Good job 

**Kuninnin:** I'm a secretary? 

**starrynight:** Yes.

 **Kuninnin:** Ok 

**Kindiechi:** Who am I 

**Ahogay:** We haven't gotten there yet. I'm trying to remember all the shit we learned in class 

**starrynight:** Don't you have notes? 

**Ahogay:** I threw them away because SOMEONE DREW A DICK ON ALL THE PAGES IN PERMANENT MARKER 

**Rei’sTwin:** how awful. who would do such a thing 

**Kuninnin:** Yuutarou is a guard. But like an inner circle guard 

**Rei’sTwin:** The better to betray others with 

**Kindiechi:** Can you like maybe possibly stop

 **Rei’sTwin:** No 

**spikethesun:** Who is Yamalamapingpong gonna be!?? 

**Ahogay:** I. Wow. Ok first 

_Ahogay changed their name to Yamalamapingpong_

**Yamalamapingpong:** love this 

**Yamalamapingpong:** and I don't have to be anyone specific 

**spikethesun:** You can just be That Guy™ 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Hnnnng it's so tempting to change my name again 

**Yamalamapingpong:** But the one I have is so good! 

**spikethesun:** Well it's like which do you want 

**spikethesun:** A good name, or an inside joke 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Damn, that's hard 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Uggghh fuck let me think on it 

**starrynight:** You've heard of dat boi, now get ready for That Guy™ 

 

 **[9:29 PM]**

**Kuninnin:** It all started in third year. That's what was so jarring. Our first year was so good, but even after Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san left, we were still okay. Kageyama and Kindaichi worked so hard on their quicks, and everything seemed to be fine 

**Kuninnin:** But then third year came along 

**Kindiechi:** Idk what happened to Kageyama, but he got so demanding and angry and frustrated. He wanted more more faster faster. He had clearly practiced longer than the rest of us. But he was such a dick about it, and that pissed me off. It was like the past two years hadn't meant shit! So I got angry. And Kunimi got angry. And then everyone else got angry. 

**Kindiechi:** Shit got really bad after that. He's argue with everyone. People would prank him as revenge. Until one day things got outta hand. 

**Kuninnin:** Our captain at the time hated how Kageyama bossed everyone around. So after practice one evening, he locked Kageyama in the supply closet. It was small. All the equipment almost always came tumbling out whenever we needed to get something. I didn't know about it until the coach reamed is all at practice the next day. 

**Kindiechi:** That mother fucker LEFT HIM IN THERE FOR HOURS! The only reason the coach went back to school was because Kageyama’s parents called him. They even called us, even though we hadn't been round their house in so long. I saw captain arguing with him but thought it was the same as usual. 

**Kuninnin:** It was after we had that game with #10’s team. Hinata. We were all pretty upset, but I didn't think anyone would try to hurt him!

 **Kuninnin:** After that he wouldn't talk to anyone. And then school ended. And we didn't see him again until that practice match with Karasuno. 

 

 **[9:40 PM]**

**Rei’sTwin:** Sounds like you were a dick to a kid you claimed to be friends with, and instead of being real, calling him out on his shit, and helping him not be a douche, you talked shit about him behind his back, made him paranoid, and got him benched from the only thing that seemed to give him joy. And now that he's changed, you feel guilty, and want to heal your conscious by ‘reconnecting’ with your old ‘friend’. The King doesn't surround himself with peasants, so I suggest you stop acting like low class assholes and accept that you were shitty teens, like the King has, and grow the hell up. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Now if you'll excuse me my bed is waiting for me 

 

 **[10:17 PM]**

**spikethesun:** Well 

**spikethesun:** Guess we know who Kageyama’s Knight is 

**starrynight:** Is that shit live yet or,,,, 

**Yamalamapingpong:** HA

 **Yamalamapingpong:** HAHA 

**Yamalamapingpong:** HAHAHA 

**Yamalamapingpong:** no n im suffering 

**Kuninnin:** Do you guys believe us at least? 

**spikethesun:** No. 

**spikethesun:** I don't want to. 

**spikethesun:** Maybe..

 **starrynight:** Kageyama is clearly working through some things if he tried to quit. You two said he's worried about his future? 

**Kindiechi:** That's what I got from it. When Kageyama has to deal with feelings he types fast and then Moves On. 

**Kuninnin:** I think he's worried if he feels strongly about anything besides volleyball it'll throw him off 

**Kindiechi:** Maybe something already has. That crush he talked about sounded pretty fucking awful 

**Rei’sTwin:** Crush 

**spikethesun:** KAGEYAMA HAS A CRUSH 

**spikethesun:** WHO

 **spikethesun:** DID HE SAY 

**spikethesun:** I NEED TO KNOW LIKE RIGHT NOW LIKE NOW 

**Yamalamapingpong:** @Rei’sTwin thought you went to bed

 **Rei’sTwin:** @yourflap Shut. 

**Kuninnin:** You. Are. A moron 

**Kindiechi:** SHYT 

**Kindiechi:** FUCK 

**Kindiechi:** DANKT 

**Kindiechi:** no one saw that on no one saw anything 

**Rei’sTwin:** I've got perfect vision 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Bitch no u don't. I stole your glasses last week and you thought your mom was Akiteru

 **Rei’sTwin:** They have similar haircuts also fuck off 

**Kuninnin:** Seriously please if you care about anything in this world you won't mention this to anyone ever. Like. For real 

**Kindiechi:** 5real 

**Kindiechi:** He will kill us, you, whoever you told and then himself. Then he'll become a ghost and haunt us

 **starrynight:** Can a ghost haunt another ghost?

 **Kuninnin:** Tobio would find a way trust me 

**Yamalamapingpong:** The secret is safe. It won't leave this chat. 

**starrynight:** My lips are sealed 

**spikethesun:** no crush here 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Tsukki 

**Rei’sTwin:** Hmm?

 **Yamalamapingpong:** Your confirmation would be appreciated 

**Rei’sTwin:** Oh hang on I'm taking screenshots 

**Kindiechi:** D U D E 

**Rei’sTwin:** Relax. As if I care about the King and his easily complicated feelings. 

**Rei’sTwin:** If this is finally over, I truly would enjoy not hearing my phone buzz from above my head. 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Yeah, this was a lot to take in 

**Kuninnin:** Sorry to just dump this on you guys. We’re just worried. We don't know _this_ Kageyama as well anymore. 

**starrynight:** It's cool. Let's catch up on Sunday? 

**Kuninnin:** Sounds good to me. Night everyone. 

**spikethesun:** Goodnight!

 **starrynight:** Bye ! 

**Kindiechi:** Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, in whatever mess of a timeline I have going on here, Kageyama has patched things up with Kindaichi and Kunimi, and they've been friends again for a While (Kags reached out to them before he went to training camp and they talked when he returned). Kags, having a deeper history with them, is a little more open and acts different, since the three know basically everything about each other. Kags told them why he wanted to quit playing volleyball, and so Kindaichi and Kunimi created a group chat with the Karasuno first years (minus Kags) and formed kind of a Kageyama Protection Squad. 
> 
> Kags has been talking to them regularly since then and has only spoken to them online after blocking mostly everyone on his team. 
> 
> I think that's it! Hope you liked this one! I hopefully have good plans coming eventually. As always, feel free to suggest ideas in the comments, or my tumblr inbox [Here](http://majoringinsarcasm.tumblr.com/)


	10. Accidental Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took a while to set it up. The captains didn't want any teammate to feel excluded, but they also didn't want them to feel pressured. In the end, they decided on an open chat room, so that those who wanted to connect could join and leave at their will, without feeling obligated. This was the result. 
> 
>  
> 
>  **Thunderclap:** who named the group ‘body party?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with gender stuff. It's not a plot point, but it acknowledges the characters who don't identify as cis. It's more of just an introduction thing. If this kind of subject isn't your thing, feel free to ignore it.

_ThugSeme joined Body Party_

_spikethesun joined Body Party_

_coolguy joined Body Party_

_Thunderclap joined Body Party_

_Kittyma joined Body Party_

_Girls4Girls joined Body Party_

_HOikawa joined Body Party_

_Shiraboob joined Body Party_

 

 **[4:30 PM]**

**HOikawa:** I think this is everyone who feels comfortable joining right now. We might get more later. 

**HOikawa:** If it's okay with everyone I'd like to start. 

**HOikawa:** No objections. Ok then. 

**HOikawa:** Hello! My name is Oikawa Tooru, and I am a transboy. I don't remember if I ‘knew’ I was a boy growing up, but that never mattered. My older sister was very patient with me when I'd rant to her about feeling confused, and she helped me talk to my mother about it, and joined me at the doctor whenever she could make it. I was sixteen when I started HRT. 

**HOikawa:** Who, if anyone, would like to go next?

 **HOikawa:** If you need time that's fine as well. No one will be upset if anyone wishes to leave, or join in at a later time. 

 

 **[4:47 PM]**

**ThugSeme:** My name is Hazuki Nagisa. Call me Nagisa please. And I am gender fluid. 

**ThugSeme:** I rejected it for a very long time. Even now I sometimes won't allow myself to enjoy the ‘feminine’ side of me. 

**ThugSeme:** growing up my sisters would dress me up and put stuff in my hair and make fun of me. I hated that. I have three older sisters so I always felt outnumbered whenever we did family votes. I wished a lot that my name matched what I was, so I wouldn't feel isolated. 

**ThugSeme:** I like cute things. And I know that's not a female only trait, but it's a stereotype that I enjoy, and it's my own thing so I feel okay abt it. 

**ThugSeme:** I don't really have days where I feel one or the other, but I use male pronouns almost always. Because it feels better. Idk

 **ThugSeme:** I'm sorry I talked to much. I try not to think abt my gender too much. Sorry 

**HOikawa:** There's nothing to apologize for! Never feel bad about talking about yourself. It's a hard thing to do. 

**spikethesun:** you're so cool nagisa! I like you so so much!! 

**ThugSeme:** hehe thank you. I like you too shouchan! 

 

 **[5:10 PM]**

**Kittyma:** My name is Kenma. I am comfortable being addressed as nonbinary, although I've occasionally used nonbinary trans. I use they/they pronouns. 

**spikethesun:** I luv you kenma  <3!!

 **Kittyma:** <3 

 

 **[5:26 PM]**

**Thunderclap:** yoooooooooo wassup

 **Thunderclap:** my name is Yuu. Nishinoya Yuu. I answer to Noya, Noya-senpai, Nishinoya-senpai, Yuu-san, and NO A STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE NEESAN 

**Thunderclap:** shit

 **Thunderclap:** sorry 

**Thunderclap:** I'm using voice to text under a blanket at ryuus cause haaaaaah this is scary 

**Girls4Girls:** Take your time, we’re all here for you. 

**Thunderclap:** ha! alright then here goes 

**Thunderclap:** I'm a boy. I didn't start out that way physically. But if I had let physical limitations keep me from living I wouldn't be where I am today 

**Thunderclap:** My parents were more confused than anything. Hell I was confused. I didn't even know what transgender was until I was fifteen. 

**Thunderclap:** But I like my body. Right now anyway. I used to have dysphoria out the ass. Which sounds gross and funny cause it sounds like diarrhea. 

**Thunderclap:** hehehehe! sorry sorry I'm all heeh ok ok 

**Thunderclap:** but I owe a lot of my good feelings to Ryuu. When I told him I wanted to play volleyball he went to Saeko and she helped me get my first ever proper sports bra. Ryuu saved up to buy me a binder that year for Christmas and I -hic!

 **Thunderclap:** I'm not crying! I just dropped my milkshake that's all.. t-thanks for listening. Reading. Whatever 

 

**[5:39 PM]**

**coolguy:** Idk if I should be here but I asked my team if it was ok and they were the nicest they've ever been so I'm afraid yakusan will kick me if I back out 

**coolguy:** I am haiba lev from nekoma

 **coolguy:** I am non binary. and that is hard to say 

**coolguy:** I am very tall. Which I like. But some days I hate it very much. 

**coolguy:** my sister is very pretty, and when we hang out around town I see all the attention she gets for being pretty. And I wish I could get attention for being pretty. But I only get attention for being tall. 

**coolguy:** I like how short yakusan is b/c he can be powerful without being judged for his height 

**coolguy:** I have been yelled at. Apparently I'm the only one who comments on how short he is 

**coolguy:** I said it again and now I'm running!! If I die please put Leg on my tombstone!! Even if I get uncomfortable I do like my heightdbt

 **Thunderclap:** Noooooo!!!

 **spikethesun:** lev died before we could ask about pronouns!!

 **Kittyma:** Lev likes he/him. And also They/Them because he thinks it makes him sound like a ‘mysterious entity’

 **spikethesun:** do you feel like a mysterious entity kenma?

 **Kittyma:** yes 

 

 **[6:21 PM]**

**Girls4Girls:** I am sorry. As much as I want to help others, I seldom follow my own advice, and this subject is something I've never felt comfortable talking about. 

**Girls4Girls:** But I am grateful to have such a wonderful, hard working team, who have become both friends and a family of sorts. I'm sorry for not being up front about this, Nishinoya, Hinata. 

**Thunderclap:** you have nothing to apologize for shimizu-san. we would wait years for you to be comfortable with us

 **spikethesun:** u don't have to say anything if you aren't ready! even if you do we would never tell the team behind your back!

 **Thunderclap:** this is your choice, always. If you aren't ready yet all of us understand 

 

 **[7:09 PM]**

**Girls4Girls:** I am a transgender female. 

**Girls4Girls:** I have been for a very long time. I struggled greatly to accept myself as female, and in appearance I have to stop myself from putting on too much makeup, or going to the extreme to look feminine 

**Girls4Girls:** I feel as if I have to pass as a woman more so because of my age, and that if I'm not desirable or sought after, I've failed. 

**Girls4Girls:** But I'm afraid of getting too close to anyone. Aside from my family, I've only told Hitoka

 **Girls4Girls:** I'm so sorry I lied to you all 

 

 **[7:19 PM]**

**Thunderclap:** Kiyoko-san, from the first day we met, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And now, I _know_ you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen 

**Thunderclap:** you didn't lie to us, and it's ok to be scared. just know that whenever you're ready, me, hinata, we’ll stand by your side no matter what. And so will the team! You're our manager and we love and respect you 

**Girls4Girls:** Thank you, Yuu. I love and respect you all as well 

**Thunderclap:** KIYOKOSAN LOVES ME!!!!!

 **Thunderclap:** and I'm still using voice to text. shit. 

**Girls4Girls:** Never change, Nishinoya-kun. 

 

 **[7:33 PM]**

**spikethesun:** my turn now?

 **spikethesun:** oh gosh I'm so nervous 

**spikethesun:** hi, my name is hinata shouyou, and I'm an alcoholic 

**Kittyma:** wrong thing 

**spikethesun:** my name is hinata shouyou and I'm addicted to volleyball 

**Thunderclap:** try again buddy 

**spikethesun:** welcome to my crib?? 

**ThugSeme:** uhhhhhhhh almost? 

**spikethesun:** what.. ohhhhh right! I forgot what we were doing sorry 

**spikethesun:** I'm a transboy! 

**HOikawa:** There ya go chibi-chan!

 **spikethesun:** I renamed myself in my second year of junior high. My dead name is Not Important, and my family doesn't use it Ever. My aunt slipped up once when she visited a few years ago but she brought candy and glow in the dark sports bras for volleyball so like I couldn't stay mad 

**spikethesun:** also I'm kenma’s boyfriend. that part is doubly important

 **spikethesun:** that's all from me thank you!! 

 

**[8:29 PM]**

**Shiraboob:** i've got breasts and I deal with it. And yes my name is an inside joke. Or it was before now. 

**Shiraboob:** I worked my ass off to get into Shiratorizawa, and it's bad enough everyone is tall, but I'm the only one who wasn't accepted due to athletic abilities, so that sucks 

**Shiraboob:** But my team is supportive, especially Ushijima-san, who stays behind to help me one on one when I can't wear my binder any longer and have to use sports bras instead

 **Shiraboob:** Everyone knows but so far they've never seen me with my pudding bags all flopping free. I've got an air tight dorm bathroom schedule that no one in their right mind would fuck with 

**Shiraboob:** So yeah. That's it. 

 

 **[8:40 PM]**

**Thunderclap:** I have a question 

**HOikawa:** Yes? 

**Thunderclap:** who named the group ‘body party?’

 **Kittyma:** Bokuto

 **Kittyma:** He wanted to help contribute. 

**HOikawa:** I think his message was ‘you should enjoy your bodies like they're a party?’

 **HOikawa:** He means well 

**spikethesun:** I kind of like it. It's fitting for us 

**Shiraboob:** As parts of a nuclear explosion disguised as a group of volleyball players? 

**ThugSeme:** I'm on the swim team 

**Shiraboob:** And the outlier 

**HOikawa:** I'd say this was a very successful session! 

**Kittyma:** so it's therapy now 

**Thunderclap:** I mean. Lev died. That was very traumatic. 

**Kittyma:** tru 

**HOikawa:** If anyone ever needs to talk but isn't sure where to turn to, this chat is always open. Have a good weekend everyone! 

**spikethesun:** bye!!

 **Thunderclap:** g’night

 **ThugSeme:** See ya ! 

**Girls4Girls:** Have a nice evening everyone 

**Shiraboob:** Later 

**Kittyma:** night 

**coolguy:** (^-^)

 

_Body Party went offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of now I personally identify like Kenma does, but I've had ideas in mind for these characters to be off of the gender binary as I was building this world. If you are trans, and see something wrong or stereotypical about these depictions, please let me know. I don't feel like gender identity should be the main focus of any one person, but I think it's important to acknowledge if someone is different, without being obsessed. That's why this chapter is short. I'm not putting it in as a gag or to build plot. In this universe, these characters identify this way, because that's just what happens. I hope it isn't too serious or throws off the tone of the fic, which is meant to be light with some random plot thrown in. I hope I haven't overstepped any boundaries. But if you liked this chapter, let me know. And if you disliked it let me know. Feedback is very important, especially with matters like these. 
> 
> (also yes I know a group itself can't go offline but I needed a calm ending so there ya go)


	11. Mall Crawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sharknado:** Nice try man, but you're not derailing this ship 
> 
> **Yamazaki:** Trains get derailed, not ships 
> 
> **Sharknado:** I'll rail you!

**[12:30 PM]**

 

 **spikethesun:** team trip to the mall woooooooo

 **Yamalamapingpong:** We’re all here who are you talking to? 

**spikethesun:** Nagisa!

 **spikethesun:** and everyone else in iwatobi

 **ThugSeme:** Hiiiiii shou chan!

 **ThugSeme:** Buy me something nice and send it to me?? 

**spikethesun:** yes!! 

**GouAway:** what mall are you going to?

 **starrynight:** just this one outside of miyagi. They have this one store that sells super quality art supplies and I want new markers 

**BestSenpai:** our yacchan is a great artist 

**spikethesun:** the best! she put me on a poster! 

**Captain:** Yachi really is a big improvement to the team

 **starrynight:** you guys! 

**starrynight:** (o^^o)

 **GouAway:** How sweet

 **GouAway:** why don't you ever compliment me like that Nagisa!

 **ThugSeme:** Your hair looked very pretty today Gou-chan 

**GouAway:** Thank you

 **GouAway:** And it's Kou! 

 

 **[1:09 PM]**

**Sharknado:** Hey Makoto 

**Mamakoto:** Yeah Rin? 

**Sharknado:** You wanna do that thing today?

 **Mamakoto:** What thing?

 **ThugSeme:** yeah what thing 

**Sharknado:** That thing from the other place when they talked about doing it 

**ThugSeme:** doing what 

**Mamakoto:** Oh! Today? Isn't it a bit late

 **Sharknado:** It's never too late for that 

**ThugSeme:** ur being vague on purpose 

**Mamakoto:** Well alright. Where should we meet 

**SugasSon:** Can we come?

 **Sharknado:** Nope. Captains only 

**Sharknado:** I'll pm you so we aren't stalked 

**ThugSeme:** C'mon Rin chantell us! 

**Mamakoto:** Alright. I'll see you soon :) 

**ThugSeme:** Soon where?! Tell meeeeeee 

**ThugSeme:** :((((((((((( 

 

 **[1:18 PM]**

**Rei’sTwin:** This is so stupid. Why was this agreed upon? 

**spikethesun:** stop being a buzz kill Saltyshima! 

**Kei’sTwin:** What's going on?

 **Rei’sTwin:** Sigh. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Some idiot suggested we play hide and seek in the mall. Sadly everyone else thought it was a good idea. 

**BestSenpai:** Complain all you want, you never backed out. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Of course not. I'm here out of spite. 

**BestSenpai:** Is that what the doctors said after you were born? 

**Thunderclap:** Daaaaaaamn 

**spikethesun:** Nice kill!

 **Kei’sTwin:** Where are you hiding Kei?

 **Rei’sTwin:** The one place these volleyball idiots will never look. I'll pm you 

**Thunderclap:** Holy shit I hear footsteps. 

**BestSenpai:** How many feet??!

 **Thunderclap:** I can't tell my heart is beating too fast! 

**Kei’sTwin:** Wow Kei that's incredible. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Isn't it? 

**Thunderclap:** think I'm gonna shit my pants. 

**Thunderclap:** They're surrounding me! 

**EnNOshita:** Hey, Nishinoya? 

**Thunderclap:** What? 

**EnNOshita:** Next time you hide, don't take a selfie in front of the store sign. 

**Thunderclap:** NOOOOOOOOOOHFDRDDDB

 **spikethesun:** they got noyasenpai!

 **BestSenpai:** Not my bro! He was so young, so handsome. And they killed him!

 **EnNOshita:** We’re coming for you next, Ryuu. 

**BestSenpai:** Ha! Nice try Chika-chan. You don't know where I am. 

**EnNOshita:** Dammit you're right. 

**EnNOshita:** That's a nice SnapBack by the way. 

**BestSenpai:** Oh thanOHNKVSSCHF

 **spikethesun:** tanakasenpaiiiiiiiiii

 **Rei’sTwin:** I changed my mind. This game is fantastic. 

 

**[1:26 PM]**

**ThugSeme:** HARU HOLY SHIT

**NanaSayWhat:**

**ThugSeme:** no one else is online :) 

**NanaSayWhat:** sigh 

**NanaSayWhat:** What happened Nagisa? 

**ThugSeme:** MAKOCHAN AND RINCHAN WENT ON A DATE 

**Yamazaki:** What

 **NanaSayWhat:** Yamazaki is online 

**BeetleKing:** Rin senpai is dating Tachibana? 

**SugarRush:** Is this an open relationship,,,?

 **Captain:** Suga!

 **SugarRush:** Hush you 

**NanaSayWhat:** They're not dating. They went to breakfast. 

**ThugSeme:** who goes to breakfast in the afternoon?

 **NanaSayWhat:** Who bakes cupcakes at 3am?

 **ThugSeme:** don't drag me like this haruchan

 

 **[2:31 PM]**

**Mamakoto:** Waaaaaaaah! Rin and I aren't dating!

 **Sharknado:** Well not with that attitude. What's wrong with dating me?

 **GouAway:** Yeah! What's wrong with dating my brother? 

**Mamakoto:** Nothing's wrong with Rin! I like him a lot. We’re very good friends 

**Sharknado:** But like, not good enough to date?

 **Mamakoto:** I didn't say that 

**Sharknado:** But you didn't deny it 

**ThugSeme:** I asked makochan once who he'd date from the swim club and he was wishy washy then too! 

**ThugSeme:** Haruchan said he'd date makochan

 **Yamazaki:** Not surprising 

**ThugSeme:** But then I told him I'd make him mackerel every day so he picked me instead! :D 

**Yamazaki:** Also not surprising 

**Rei’sTwin:** How's it feel to know your boyfriend is probably smarter than you Rei? 

**Kei’sTwin:** Nagisa-kun is not my boyfriend. But he is very intelligent when he applies himself. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Wait. You're not dating? 

**ThugSeme:** I'm still courting him! 

**Kei’sTwin:** I'm sorry??

 **ThugSeme:** Penguins mate for life you know. I gotta make sure my rei chan is comfortable ;) 

**Sharknado:** Ha! You're being courted now?

 **Kei’sTwin:** So what's this about Rin not being good enough to date Makoto?

 **Sharknado:** Nice try man, but you're not derailing this ship 

**Yamazaki:** Trains get derailed, not ships 

**Sharknado:** I'll rail you! 

**NanaSayWhat:** I'm sure he'd like that 

**ThugSeme:** Ohhh my god haha 

**Yamazaki:** I didn't know you felt that way about me Rin 

**GouAway:** Pfft I did. So does mom 

**Sharknado:** DERAIL I MEANT DERAIL 

**SugasSon:** Does this mean I have three dads now

 **BeetleKing:** Three?

 **SugasSon:** Suga, Rin and Yamazaki-senpai!

 **Yamazaki:** Uhh sure?

 **Sharknado:** HES NOT UR DAD AI 

**Sharknado:** AND NEITHER AMI 

**Sharknado:** I MEANT DERAIL 

**Rei’sTwin:** Today is great so far I gotta say 

 

 **[2:45 PM]**

**SugasSon:** How's hide and seek going? Isn't it hard to play with so many ppl?

 **spikethesun:** we scrapped the first round since asahisan almost got arrested for looking creepy near a baby clothes store 

**Glassheart:** I wasn't creeping! I saw Tsukishima!

 **Rei’sTwin:** I was right. None of you looked there until the last minute 

**BestSenpai:** Says the guy who joined out of spite 

**Yamalamapingpong:** That's Tsukki’s life motto tbh 

**SugasSon:** So what's happening now?

 **spikethesun:** asahisan is in danger of getting kicked out, so we made him base. He has to say his location every fifteen minutes so that those hiding can find him 

**OhShita:** Suga, Daichi and Kiyoko-san are the seekers 

**NAHrita:** Because if we let Noya or Tanaka seek we really will get kicked out of here 

**SugarRush:** And the new round begins… 

**SugarRush:** NOW!

 **SugarRush:** You've all got fifteen minutes to hide. Then Asahi will post his location 

 

 **[3:27 PM]**

**spikethesun:** they'll never find me! 

**spikethesun:** OUCH 

**spikethesun:** my hair :( 

**SugarRush:** found you! 

**BestSenpai:** ALREADY WTF 

**SugarRush:** he was in the sports shop. 

**BestSenpai:** Dude 

**Thunderclap:** Why 

**BestSenpai:** That's like so obvious 

**spikethesun:** That's why I thought no one would find me! You weren't supposed to look in the obvious place cause it's obvious! It's reverse psychology! 

**Rei’sTwin:** Why do you.. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Fuck it I give up 

**Girls4Girls:** One down eight to go. Asahi can we get a base update? 

**Glassheart:** I'm sitting down at the fountain behind the first staircase. With a snow cone. I was hungry. 

**Thunderclap:** Asahi-san if I make it to you before you leave will you buy me a snow cone??!! 

**Glassheart:** If you're here in the next five minutes sure. But I doubtggkoyg

 **Thunderclap:** I'd like a cherry and blue raspberry swirl please! 

**NAHrita:** Was he hiding behind you the whole time?

 **Glassheart:** Yes 

**Glassheart:** And I dropped my lime on my pants and it looks like I peed. Now I'm really gonna get kicked out 

**OhShita:** #LetAsahiLive2k17 

 

**[3:34 PM]**

**Sharknado:** Okay then Tachibana. If you could date one person from Samezuka who would it be?

 **Mamakoto:** This again? Can't we go back to Rei?

 **Sharknado:** No

 **Kei’sTwin:** No

 **Sharknado:** And you can't pick all of us. 

**Mamakoto:** But! Polygamy!

 **Sharknado:** That only works if we all date each other. Just you dating us all is some sister wives bullshit and I'm not about that 

**GouAway:** I hated that show. All the women looked similar. The guy clearly had a type 

**ThugSeme:** And he had kids with all three of them! What a douche 

**Mamakoto:** Sousuke 

**Yamazaki:** Yeah?

 **Mamakoto:** I'd date Sousuke 

**Sharknado:** W H A T 

**NanaSayWhat:** Gross 

**Yamazaki:** Fuck off Nanase 

**NanaSayWhat:** Stay away from Makoto 

**Yamazaki:** You gonna stop me from dating him? Cause you've had your chance and blew it. So suck it 

**Mamakoto:** I thought this was hypothetical!

 **Sharknado:** I can't believe you'd pick my best friend over me! 

**GouAway:** I can't believe Sousuke wants to date Makoto

 **SugasSon:** I can't believe Rei didn't know Nagisa was courting him 

**BeetleKing:** I can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man

 

 **[3:41 PM]**

**OhShita:** Ugh kill me 

**NAHrita:** What's up man?

 **OhShita:** The store I’m hiding in is playing Kesha

 **NAHrita:** What's wrong with Kesha? :(( I like her music 

**OhShita:** They're playing cannibal. And thanks to SOMEONE, all I can hear is cat nipple 

**NAHrita:** Hehehehehe 

**OhShita:** I hate you 

**SugarRush:** Well I know where Kinoshita is hiding 

**OhShita:** I won't even run. Plz save me from this hell

 

 **[3:47 PM]**

**SugarRush:** I THOUHT HOU SAIF YOU WOYLDNT RUN 

**OhShita:** I LIED BITCHE CATCH ME IF YOU CSB 

 

**[3:49 PM]**

**SugarRush:** Got em

 **OhShita:** At least my soul is free 

**NAHrita:** Cat nipple 

**OhShita:** FUUUUUU 

**Glassheart:** I am by the donuts. I repeat, I am by the donuts 

 

 **[4:05 PM]**

**starrynight:** Are your ears pierced Yamaguchi?!

 **Yamalamapingpong:** Uh no? Why

 **starrynight:** BECAUSE I JUST SAW [THESE](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/38/00/4a/38004a74f61edf1025e84d85140ca40e.jpg)

 **Yamalamapingpong:** G A S P 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Who. The fuck. Is gonna hold my hand while I get my ears pierced 

**Rei’sTwin:** You can't be serious Tadashi 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Bitch did you see those earrings?! 

**Girls4Girls:** I'll go with you, Yamaguchi. 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Thank you Kiyoko-san!

 **Girls4Girls:** But first tell me where you're hiding 

**Yamalamapingpong:** … touché miss. 

**Yamalamapingpong:** I'm by the sunglasses hut 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Yachi! Please buy those earrings I'll pay you back I promise!

 **starrynight:** They're like already in my possession

 **Yamalamapingpong:** So blessed on this day! 

**starrynight:** Annnd now I know where Yachi is 

**starrynight:** Eeeek!

 **BestSenpai:** Run tiny lesbian run! 

 

 **[4:17 PM]**

**BestSenpai:** My name is Jesus 

**BestSenpai:** And I play basketball 

**BestSenpai:** When I'm practicing my layups 

**BestSenpai:** You know I'm reciting my prayers 

**NAHrita:** How bored are you right now? 

**BestSenpai:** I'm crouched behind an ice cream stand. I crave sprinkles and death 

**Captain:** Well I know where Tanaka is 

**BestSenpai:** God dammit!

 **EnNOshita:** Nice job genius XD 

 

 **[4:22 PM]**

**Thunderclap:** OH MY GOD 

**Thunderclap:** DID U SEE THAT 

**Thunderclap:** OH MY G I D 

**Thunderclap:** GID

 **Thunderclap:** GOD

 **NAHrita:** what what what's happening 

**Thunderclap:** Fuckin wow ok 

**Thunderclap:** Kiyoko tagged Yamaguchi which rally wasn't that hard since he's jazzed abt the earrings 

**Thunderclap:** But when I saw Yachi slinking out of the jewelry store she NYOOMED down the corridor and did a F L Y I N G LEAP ontoAsahi’s back and screamed BASE 

**Thunderclap:** It was fucking incredible! 

**starrynight:** I'm so sorry!! Are you okay Azumane-san? 

**Glassheart:** Haha I'm fine (at the lego store). I'm used to Nishinoya doing that all the time, and you're even smaller than he is! 

 

 **[4:55 PM]**

**NAHrita:** I'm not out you cheated! 

**BestSenpai:** HOW?! 

**NAHrita:** I was PISSING AND YIU SHOVED ME 

**BestSenpai:** tagged you 

**NAHrita:** S H O V E D 

**Thunderclap:** we never said the bathroom was off limits 

**spikethesun:** bathrooms are like temporary base 

**Thunderclap:** since when?!

 **EnNOshita:** Since that time you went into the boy's bathroom at the roller rink wearing a sports bar and almost brained a guy who tried to carry you out 

**Thunderclap:** It was a gender neutral bathroom and that guy was drunk

 **BestSenpai:** well it doesn't matter anyway cause Kazuchan surrendered 

**NAHrita:** he had nachos 

**EnNoshita:** you're a weak man 

**NAHrita:** can't hear you over this cheesy crunch 

 

 **[5:29 PM]**

**SugarRush:** And then there were two 

**EnNoshita:** You might as well give up, kouhai. I've been hiding from the idiot duo for two years now 

**spikethesun:** you've been hiding from me and kageyama?

 **EnNoshita:** Not you two, Tanaka and Noya. 

**Rei’sTwin:** I think the names are pretty interchangeable at this point 

**OhShita:** Can we hurry this up? I'm starving 

**NAHrita:** yeah dad said we can't get pizza until the game is over 

**Glassheart:** dad?

 **NAHrita:** Daichi*

 **NAHrita:** it's the same thing basically 

**SugarRush:** he certainly is authoritative when he needs to be 

**Yamalamapingpong:** don't make this weird 

**BestSenpai:** suga is a freak confirmed 

**Rei’sTwin:** If I can guess where you are, Ennoshita-san, will you forfeit? 

**EnNoshita:** Pfft sure. But you're not gonna get it 

**Rei’sTwin:** That men’s lingerie store, possibly in a dressing room pretending to be 18, most likely in a rack also hiding from the store workers because they know you're not supposed to be there 

**EnNoshita:** ..

 **EnNoshita:** I 

**EnNoshita:** fuck

 **EnNoshita:** HOW?! 

**SugarRush:** And then there was one 

 

 **[5:40 PM]**

**Kigyomo:** @spikethesun where r u dumbass 

**spikethesun:** Yay Kageyama! Finally! 

**starrynight:** Kageyama showing up 15 minutes late with Starbucks 

**Kigyomo:** I don't have Starbucks???

 **spikethesun:** It's a meme tobiyama. I'll explain later where r u 

**Kigyomo:** Where are YOU! I went to the big red fountain on the top floor and no ones here 

**spikethesun:** Gah you dummy 

**spikethesun:** I said the red brick fountain near the book store

 **Kigyomo:** I

 **Kigyomo:** Hate you 

**Kigyomo:** The book store is on the ground floor dumbass why didn't you just say ground floor 

**spikethesun:** Cause I thought you'd be smart enough to get the landmark !!

 **Kigyomo:** I'm gonna mark your face with my foot when I see you 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Speaking of seeing

 **Yamalamapingpong:** Has anyone found Tsukki 

**Rei’sTwin:** no 

**Rei’sTwin:** I think my prize for this should be no flying fall drills for a week 

**Captain:** Nice try. I'll buy you whatever you want instead. 

**Captain:** We’re by the ice cream place on the second floor 

**BestSenpai:** Come on down to CLAM. YOUR. PRIZE. 

**BestSenpai:** CLAIM 

_Thunderclap renamed this group Clam Your Prize_

 

 **[5:45 PM]**

**Kigyomo:** I found Tsukishima. 

**Rei’sTwin:** Getting in the same elevator doesn't mean you found me King. You weren't even playing 

**Rei’sTwin:** Shit. God dammit 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Tsukki? 

**Rei’sTwin:** The elevator stopped

 **spikethesun:** so get off? 

**Yamalamapingpong:** I think he means it stopped when it wasn't supposed to. Like between floors. 

**Rei’sTwin:** It's stuck. Just great. I'm locked in here with the King 

**BestSenpai:** Poor Kageyama. Trapped with all that salt. Hang in there buddy! 

**Rei’sTwin:** I pressed the emergency button and no one fucking answered just great 

**Rei’sTwin:** One of you find a mall cop or whatever 

**Yamalamapingpong:** On it! 

**Rei’sTwin:** Just my luck this happens. I get roped into something ridiculous, win, and then get trapped in an elevator. 

**Rei’sTwin:** With the King of all people! I'd even trade the shrimp over him in this hot box. 

**spikethesun:** SHUT UP FOR A SECOND YOU WHINY BITCH 

**spikethesun:** what's Kageyama doing 

**Rei’sTwin:** Losing oxygen like me? We’re trapped in an elevator near the top floor. What the hell could we possibly be doing 

**Rei’sTwin:** Oh. Well then. 

**spikethesun:** what's happening what ?! 

**Rei’sTwin:** I 

**Rei’sTwin:** I think he's having a panic attack 

 

 **[9:58 PM]**

**spikethesun:** Tobio is snug like a blueberry in a blanket 

**spikethesun:** Blueberrypie.jpg

 **spikethesun:** He seemed ok after dinner. We watched his favorite anime until he fell asleep 

**Yamalamapingpong:** What's his favorite 

**spikethesun:** That's classified 

**Yamalamapingpong:** r00d

 **spikethesun:** But he wouldn't tell me what happened at the mall :( 

**spikethesun:** I swear if Tsukishima said anything to make him feel bad I'll spike his head off his shoulders 

**Yamalamapingpong:** I grilled Tsukki like a fish, and he didn't tell me anything. 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Did Kageyama say anything to him? 

**spikethesun:** He was having a panic attack! 

**Yamalamapingpong:** But how long do those even last usually?

 **spikethesun:** GRRRRRRR

 **Yamalamapingpong:** Ok ok I'm sorry. I'm just worried too u know. Tsukki doesn't do well with isolation. He's like a feral cat if he gets cornered 

**spikethesun:** Kageyama thought he was gonna die! He wouldn't care enough to say something mean. He's not mean! He's just very tall and awkward and feels like he's not a good teammate cause he's dumb! 

**spikethesun:** I gotta go. I'm sorry I yelled at you 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Me too. It’ll be okay. We’ll get with Yachi on Monday after practice and try to come up with an intervention tactic 

**spikethesun:** Sounds good. Night Yama 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Night Hina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back in school! Third semester of community college here we go. No real reason to share but I get my overstating from my mom so there you go. As always, if you have any ideas or scenes you wanna see, comment then or send them to my tumblr inbox. I'm still kind of taking a break but I check it now and again. I've got some fun stuff planned guys *cracks knuckles* [Here](http://majoringinsarcasm.tumblr.com/)


	12. Pierce The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you ready?”
> 
> “Yes!”
> 
> “Are you nervous?”
> 
> “Yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Repeating_Simple_Phrases! Sorry it took so long. I hope this isn't as awful as I fear it is.

**[4:05 PM]**

**starrynight:** Are your ears pierced Yamaguchi?!

 **Yamalamapingpong:** Uh no? Why

 **starrynight:** BECAUSE I JUST SAW [THESE](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/38/00/4a/38004a74f61edf1025e84d85140ca40e.jpg)

 **Yamalamapingpong:** G A S P 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Who. The fuck. Is gonna hold my hand while I get my ears pierced 

**Rei’sTwin:** You can't be serious Tadashi 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Bitch did you see those earrings?! 

**Girls4Girls:** I'll go with you, Yamaguchi. 

**Yamalamapingpong:** Thank you Kiyoko-san!

 **Girls4Girls:** But first tell me where you're hiding 

**Yamalamapingpong:** … touché miss. 

**Yamalamapingpong:** I'm by the sunglasses hut 

*

*

*

Yamaguchi bounced impatiently on the balls of his feet as he waited for Kyoko-san. He didn't know why he was so excited. He's seen earrings before, has bought them for his mom and Tsukki’s mom as Christmas gifts over the years. But he had never seen _french fry_ earrings before. And well, Yachi had seen them and thought of him. Had _bought_ them for him before he even asked! He knew they were just friends, would probably only ever be just friends, but his crush was still fresh and hadn't yet disappeared. 

“Tadashi.” 

Like a ray of sunlight, Kiyoko appeared from around the giant cardboard cutout of the sun wearing sunglasses. Huh. Now that he thought about it, that image didn’t really make sense. 

Yamaguchi eagerly held out his hand, and Kiyoko gave it a gentle slap, hardly making a sound. “Tag,” she said, and offered a light smile. Yamaguchi beamed back. 

“Are you ready?”

“Yes!”

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes!”

Kiyoko smiled kindly as they started walking. “It might seem intimidating, but it's not too bad. Your ears might be sore for a bit, but once they heal you'll be okay.” 

Yamaguchi nodded, trying to psyche himself up. He wasn't _that_ nervous, not really. It was more first day in a new class jitters, not first time doing a pinch serve anxiety. Still, as they arrived at the jewelry store, he lingered outside. 

Just as he had gathered his courage, a small, blonde blur came tearing out of the store. They watched, speechless, as Yachi sprinted down the corridor and jumped. She sailed through the air, her tiny arms and legs hooking onto Asahi like a claw game. 

“BASE!” 

Yamaguchi staggered back, a hand over his heart. He felt a little faint, feeling like he needed to sit down. That was the single greatest thing he had ever seen _anyone_ do. Why couldn't he be tall like Asahi-san? Or Tsukki? Maybe then _he_ could be the one gently lowering Yachi to the ground like a delicate, badass pixie. He sighed, longingly, looking over at Kiyoko who patted his shoulder almost sympathetically. 

“Let's go look inside.” 

It was a fairly average store, though geared more towards teenage girls. The music playing was bouncy and catchy, the wall colors soft and pastel, with a few splashes of neon thrown about. 

Yamaguchi was ready to bite the bullet. He headed towards the counter, but Kiyoko’s soft hand around his wrist had him stopping on a dime. 

“You need to find some you like, first. When you get your ears pierced, you have to wear them for six weeks before changing them out.” Kiyoko tried not to laugh at Yamaguchi’s wide eyed expression. “It's not as bad as it sounds. And once you're used to studs, having hoops will be easy. Or French fries in your case.” 

Some of his excitement evaporated as he let her take him over to the display in the back. That all made sense logically, but his heart had been set on those fries. 

“I guess so,” he said with a sigh. “I probably shouldn't even wear dangly stuff to practice or games.” His eyes scanned the shelves, though he wasn't putting much effort into looking. He felt childish, especially since Kiyoko-aan had offered to do this with him. 

“Don't worry. Studs look nice.” She offered up another one of her tiny, sweet smiled. “And they don't get caught on clothes or hair, which is good for changing in and out of uniform.” 

Almost as fast as before, Yachi appeared beside them, only this time she was pink cheeked and out of breath. Yamaguchi’s lips formed an automatic, wobbly smile. How could he stand on court after only a mini heart attack, but being near Yachi turned him into jelly? 

“Maybe you should be our decoy,” he blurted before he could stop himself. Yachi’s wide brown eyes blinked up at him, a startled animal. “You jumped higher than Hinata back there.” 

The ends of Yachi’s hair seemed to rise along with the heat in her face, but she smiled at Yamaguchi all the same, and her little laugh sent his heart sideways. “Have you found something you like, yet?” She reached into her purse and held up his beloved gift. “I know you can't wear these just yet. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” Yamaguchi assured her. “And no, not yet. I don't want anything too...flashy?”

The tiny manager blinked, head tilting just so, a playful edge to her smile. “French fries hanging from your ears don't count as flashy?” 

Kiyoko giggled somewhere out of sight, and it was Yamaguchi’s turn to be red in the face. He wished Tsukki were here to soak up some of the attention. The hypocrite had wanted to get his ears pierced when they were kids, but now he was so above it all. Pffft. What a nerd. 

“French fries are classy. Sophisticated. Regal.” He acted extra goofy to cover up his nerves. “I don't want disco balls or anything that's too glittery.” He was starting to second guess everything. Was this really okay? What if his parents got upset? What if he looked stupid with earrings of any kind? 

Yachi, who had wandered over to another display rack, gasped. “Ohh! What about these?!” She reached out and grabbed his hand, using her surprising strength to pull him over. Yamaguchi’s palms started sweating. 

“W-which ones?” 

“These!” Yachi grabbed a pair of what could only be described as orange pearl earrings. They rested in a black base, almost like a jewel in a king’s study. His eyes grew wide. 

“Wow!” 

Kiyoko had come around to join them, and she too had a playful grin as well. One that made Yamaguchi regret growing as tall as he did. If he were shorter he'd get less hurt when he inevitably fainted and fell to the floor. 

“I thought you didn't want anything flashy?” She picked up the earrings and examined them for herself. They were quite pretty. She's always been fond of the color orange. 

The two first years watched their older manager with heart eyes, before turning away quickly when she glanced up. Yamaguchi felt like drowning at the slushy stand. Leave it to him to crush on the two most unavailable girls at his school, who also happened to be extensions of the team. And his friends. 

“O-okay, how abooooout…” Yamaguchi’s eyes jumped to different things until he grinned. “What about these?” He held up another set; tiny orange roses with black dusting their edges. 

“Karasuno roses! I love them.” Yachi held them up close to his ear, as if determining the cute value. “You have to get these!” She looked to Kiyoko for a second opinion, then promptly glanced away with a little laugh. Yamaguchi held in his sigh. 

He wasn't one of _those_ guys. He wasn't grooming his manager into thinking of him romantically. Most days his crush seemed nonexistent, but sometimes, like today, it grew into a full blown rash. He really liked Yachi; she was smart, funny when she didn't get so nervous, and just a kind person all around. Plus she was super cute, so he didn't beat himself up over the fact that he liked her the way he did. It would just take time to wear off. Hell, he had a crush on Tsukki for almost three years before that went away. Time erases embarrassing thoughts. 

Plus, there was the very very high probability that Yachi was Not Straight. But he also didn't wanna make assumptions. 

“Oh, sweet! Donuts.” Near the front counter was a display case featuring ‘Sweet Earrings!’ Ice cream cones, cake slices, candy. But Yamaguchi paid those other treats no mind. After a moment of deliberation he grabbed a pair that had pink icing with white chocolate drizzle, and presented them to Yachi. “You should get these. They'd look really c-cute on you.” 

_Friends can compliment friends it's okay don't freak out_

Yachi, who had been eyeing the Halloween themed earrings, looked up with curiosity. She ‘ohhh’ed, holding them up next to her face as she looked in one of the tiny mirrors. “You think so?” Her eyes drifted over to Kiyoko, who seemed to smile a little brighter. 

“I think you'd look lovely, Hitoka.” 

Fighting the raving butterflies in his stomach, Yamaguchi went back to their first wall and handed Kiyoko the earrings he had deemed too sparkly. 

“A-and you should get these Kiyoko-san.” He bit the corner of his mouth, trying to work up a confident smile. “I'll pay for both.” 

“Oh I couldn't let you!”

“You don't have to, Tadashi.” 

Yamaguchi shook his head, his smile a little more confident. “Too late! Think of them as my thank you gift. For being such great managers.” Because they _were_ great. It couldn't be easy, managing a group of twelve, often rowdy and fighty, teenage boys. But Yachi and Kiyoko-san were part of the team, too, even if they didn't step out onto the court. 

The two managers looked at each other, then at their jewelry, then back at each other again. Then they smiled, relaxed, happy, and appreciative. Yamaguchi had come a long way from the boy who stood in Tsukishima’s shadow. He was growing into his own person, and along with being hard working, he was kind and generous, too. 

The part that he had been weary of was now at hand. His nerves must've showed on his face, because the two women at the counter agreed to work on him at the same time. Yamaguchi sat, and tried not to fidget as they marked his ears. Yachi and Kiyoko stood in front of him, smiling encouragingly. And when he squeezed his eyes shut and held out his trembling hands, they each grabbed on, and held tight. 

A simultaneous pinch, not unlike a shot at the doctors, except maybe shorter, and a few minutes later, he was done. It felt a little surreal, but that's probably because he had hyped up the experience in his head so much. One of the ladies gave him a mirror, and after taking a deep breath, Yamaguchi held it up. 

He looked.. the absolute same. But also completely different. He turned his head from side to side, eyes jumping to the small, cute little roses in his ears. He'd done that. A smile broke out over Yamaguchi’s face as he held his head up a little higher. 

“They look great, Yamaguchi!” Yachi came into view beside him, donut earrings freshly in place. Kiyoko-san stood a ways back, her head turned towards the front of the store. The bright orange of _her_ new earrings contrasted beautifully with her dark hair. She caught his eye and smiled, and even gave him a thumbs up! 

Yamaguchi felt his face heat up, but he smiled big all the same. “T-thanks.” He stood, legs a little shaky due to excess adrenaline. He felt like a different person stepping out into the hub of the mall. He reached up and lightly touched his ears, feeling giddy. He felt a little...proud. He normally never acted so impulsively, but it felt good to take a chance on the unknown. And in six weeks he'd be rocking French fries, too! 

“I guess we should catch up with the others, huh?” He took out his phone to check the chat, figuring that would be the fastest way to get updated. He couldn't _wait_ to show Tsukki!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Yamaguchi](https://strandedtreasures.com/images/products/orange-black-rose-studs.jpg)
> 
>  
> 
> [Kiyoko](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1NPfrSFXXXXbraXXXq6xXFXXXE/RongXing-Unique-Cute-font-b-Orange-b-font-Fire-Opal-font-b-Stud-b-font-font.jpg)
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a2/c3/7b/a2c37bd0fa44318f22873d5ab42e48ba.jpg
> 
> ((The link for Yachi wouldn't work properly sorry!))  
>    
>  
> 
>    
> (I've never had my ears pierced, so sorry if the description was inaccurate)
> 
> Yo it's ya boy ‘haven't updated in a month’. How's it going? In the last chapter I said I was starting school again, which has been pretty Okay so far. I wanted to update tho and kinda give a rundown of stuff as far as this fic is concerned. 
> 
> I'm gonna try my best to participate in Kinktober, which is in like two days. So any free time or creative juices will be going into those projects. So don't expect a new chapter for this in October. Cause there won't be one lol. 
> 
> However! That gives you all a month to reread, or think of scenes/scenarios you'd like to see. Like this chapter for instance. I'm not sure how good it turned out lol, but someone kinda wanted to see it played out so I did it. If you have an idea you can post it in a comment, or message my tumblr. If you want it dedicated to you like this chapter was, then put your Tumblr or ao3 name in the message (if you send an anon message). 
> 
> That being said, the mall section is closed, since I already have more planned. But anything besides that, depending on the nature of the ideas is fair game. 
> 
> That's all for me for now. I hope you all have a lovely October, and I'll hopefully be back the second or third week of November. Bye bye! 
> 
>  
> 
> [Here](http://majoringinsarcasm.tumblr.com/)


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